Ao I had this dream last night and sometimes they are so real that I can’t tell the difference, so I was hoping that you could help clear it up in my mind?
So last night, when I went to bed, he had a headache. I had rubbed his back for over an hour already in effort to releive some pain. I eventually got up and went back to the living room for a drink.
When I returned, he was upside down in the bed, legs stretched over the side (my side) and hanging off. He had his head in his hands and his upper torso was curled over. The fan above was on the highest setting, and the comforter was bunched up under him. I laid next to him, and ran my nails down his back until I was sure his pain was releived enough to fall asleep. Lying there, listening to his breathing deepen and get louder, I realized how cold I was, yet I didn’t have the heart to wake him. After debating for a moment I decided that I would be more comfortable on the couch.
I moved to the couch and quickly fell asleep, as it was 3AM at this point. Sometime later, I can’t be sure exactly when, I felt warmth on my the back base of my neck. Warm pressure began to roll around in that concentrated area, relaxing me in a way I never thought possible. It reminded me of your touch. It felt like you. I let out a deep sigh. This warm pressure rolled around, branching out. Slightly stirring, I switched position of my head. With that, the touch was gone as suddenly as it had arrived. In my head, I see your hand being pulled away quickly, frightened by my movement. I see your eyes, wide with surprise and fear that I will awaken to find you there. I was too tired to make these assumptions at that moment; however, and quickly fell back into dreamland.
After typing it all out, it sure sounds more like a dream. But the feel… It just felt so real! Maybe I don’t want it to have been just a dream. But that must be the case.
As with everything else that involves you, it is always a head/heart decision. Weighting my feelings, intuition vs rational thinking. My mind always wins, because I am terrified to be wrong. I have been wrong so many times and the pain is unbearable. My mind is a coward, and my heart is a whore. At least my mind keeps me safe. But I wish I could let my heart take the lead and it actually be right for once. Oh! Wouldn’t that be something?!