Can I be really real with you for a second? I would love for you to just…put your arm around me. That has pretty much never happened. Throughout all the nights I have spent with you, i have never once been able to lay my head on your shoulder. Lord knows I try; I feel like a puppy starved for attention when I lay next to you, trying to get closer and closer, never quite getting your arm to come up and around me. For a little while you would voluntarily spoon me (with your arm around me and everything) and that was so nice, but then I got a stupid phone call, and after that you were back to turning away from me. Last night (the night before writing this), during my attempt to be the little spoon, you made sure that your upper body was not touching me in the slightest. What’s up with that? I can see how I look stupid for caring so much and writing about this, but for me this shit (“after-play”) is just as important as sex. And yeah, foreplay…making out and kissing and doing other things with your mouth is sometimes fun. I broke it off with the person I got the phone call from and you’ve had a lot to do with that, but now I’m questioning my decision because he and others did those things to me (but somehow I was still way more attracted to you than any of them). All of that sex stuff only matters minimally because the sex is great and I love it so much, but having your arm around me afterwards matters a lot. “Only here to watch you slay me” and I am aware of that but please just put your arm around me after we fuck.