• Cheez-It for Nick.

    by  • September 5, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    Hello Nicholas,

    Its Rosy, you probably don’t remember me. If we were to encounter in the real world I don’t think neither of us would recognize each other. Last year as I worked a music festival in San Bernardino I may or may not have checked your ID (If even that was you). Fact of the matter is that I obsessed over it the entire night. “I should have asked him” was something that played over and over in my head until about 2am when I got out of work. I even tried looking for you after work! I think about this more then I should but many years ago I regret doing something. Something I need to get out of my mind and aching heart. I don’t know if you remember but you were in my 4th grade class (perhaps in 2005), Smith Elementary do you recall? I’m not going to lie, you were one of my best friends in that class. I loved talking to you, and hanging out during out snack time. Remember that day when we talked for the entire snack period about spongebob? Can you believe I still like watching that cartoon? Looking back I understand the references better now then I did when I was 7. Although maybe thats just an excuse I use to continue watching said show. In my opinion, the new episodes can’t compare to the ones back in the day.

    Anyways, the conversation we shared many years ago was about that one episode when patrick and spongebob break into sandy’s rocket. HAHA remember that? How could I forget, you were so incredibly into the whole conversation! well, as I attentively listened and related to the humor also attentively chowed down a bag of Cheez-It’s. You suddenly stopped talking about the cartoon, looked directly at me and ask me something that I still haven’t been able to shake. you looked over to me and I can still picture your sad little face. You asked me nervously “can I have one?” and I had just barley finished shoving the last cracker down my throat. After hearing that you wanted one, I stopped chewing. “Aww I just finished them”. you said its okay very sad like then proceeded to talk about spongebob (not less enthusiastic). You don’t understand the level of sadness I felt at that very moment. I felt shame that I ate in front of you with out offering, guilt that you had no snacks and were probably craving my crackers. I felt everything and I wasn’t too sure what to do about it. Things were left undone, I didn’t get you Cheek-its the next day and I don’t think I ever got to show you how sorry I truly was. Im actually not sure why I felt so incredibly sorry. You may not even notice that this has been haunting me for literally YEARS. Its probably no big deal for you and you forgot about it literally with in a week. I think of all the worst case scenarios, maybe you developed a cheez-it addiction because of me OR AN EATING DISORDER. I don’t know. I really don’t and well I guess I need to forgive my self for this, and well thus why I am writing you this letter.

    If I had your address I would send you cheek-its!

    well kind sir thank you for you time! Thank you and I am so sorry

    Love Rosy!

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