• Please

    by  • September 2, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Yearning for You • 1 Comment

    I’ve sought forgiveness from you back then. I still of course want that, but I can’t really put myself on the line anymore. I’m assuming we’re past that anyway.
    I guess this letter is going to hopefully somehow give you a glimpse into where I’m at, at the moment.
    I want things to be great but truth be told they’re not.
    I am proud of myself for continuing to push on and not give up, but im tyring and am not sure how much longer I can continue to do something where I would be better supported elsewhere. Where I am right now I am continuously thrown into the deep end with no support really whatsoever. It is what it is I guess and I would say I am coping. I am developing a good skill set, that’s one positive I suppose. Despite this, I am seeking something different because when I started where I am it was an enjoyable environment. There was good banter, people got on, now it’s a daily attack game on who’s made what mistake.
    I’m so tired already of the surrounding drama.
    I just want to take charge and do the fix job myself so that its done properly rather than by beating around the bush. However, even if it was me doing the solving, I know I wouldn’t have any support either thus in some ways this lessens my issue. No ones straight talking, it does my head in. No one really ever 100% knows what’s going on and what they would have to do in a given situation.
    People don’t support each other where I’m at and that’s needed in the environment that we work in. I’ve felt this way for a while and it’s getting worse, but at the same time I’m getting the experience that I can use elsewhere.
    Im so proud that I am coping and getting through each difficult day. It’s making me reflect and oppose away from the blame game and instead focus on improving.
    It’s very difficult when you have someone appearing to take all frustration out on you by telling you that you’re doing something wrong when in fact you haven’t and they don’t seem to understand that and instead state it’s now two things on your head, yet you haven’t done anything wrong.
    I’m just so tired of this bs.
    I understand maybe people don’t want to be back at work after the bank holiday, but don’t take it out on someone that worked on the bank holiday and trying to remain positive.
    I will have to go in tomorrow stronger and calmer biting my tongue which when used doesn’t get my anywhere, so save my energy for worthwhile pursuits.
    I’m not sure if I saw you today. Like myself, you most probably have daily battles and upheavals I just so wish we were able to support each other. I have a tendency to not look at anyone when I’ve had a day like today as much as your input probably would have made everything even just a little bit better.
    I’m just kind of like at my max for human interaction. I feel like I need a week off to recover from working just 1 day.
    I also don’t know if I should trust you. As why now?
    Things have been left & left. I’m not and needent be a priority to you. You have other people in your life and I do in mine, but it doesn’t stop me longing to hear from you and speak to you ..:(

    One Response to Please

    1. eMineM
      October 26, 2017 at 12:49 am

      Do you work in IT by any chance? And has your job been making you more than just frustrated but even maybe like physically sick? If yes to both then please get in touch with me.

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