You were my first real best friend.
For once there was someone out there who wanted to spend time with me. You took the initiative in talking to me when no one else would. You didn’t take my silence as me being stuck up but for what it really was…extreme shyness.
I remember spending time in your room just lying on the floor listening to music or talking.
At the time I didn’t have a relationship with God and didn’t truly know who He was, but hearing you talk about Him with so much love soothed me.
Our friendship was so short. You completely ghosted on me. Long nights of uncontrollable crying, self harm and wondering what could have possibly happened that made you break contact with me.
A few years later I messaged you telling you how much I missed you and whatever I did I was sorry. To this day your response still hurts. “We were just kids back then.”
That may be true. But what could have happened that you’d just decide to throw it all away?
Years passed and I’m doing a lot better now. I have a deep relationship with God, a boy friend who loves me very much and a job I enjoy. I’ve gained friends and lost them, but none of them stuck to me like this one.
There are still those days where I stop to think about you and wonder how you’re doing. I wish we could talk about God together again now that I’ve matured in my Faith. I wish we could have a Bible study together and talk about things in our lives.
Now that I’m older I wonder if I was too selfish and relied on you too much. Or maybe too hard to be friends with because of things that were going on in my life and the path I was going down.
I just wish we could have talked this out instead of going our separate ways. I wish we could catch up and start over.
I really miss you.