• If there is a God

    by  • August 25, 2017 • To You • 1 Comment

    Hey Owl face,

    How did it come to this?
    There was a time, not so long ago
    where, when things went wrong
    I could drag myself to your feet
    collapse
    splinter into pieces
    It was okay.
    You were there.
    You were the only one who knew how to fit them back together again
    by finding the gaps between my fingers.
    Everything that was broken, suddenly whole.
    By the strength of your fingertips.

    Hi, ponytail.

    How did we get this far
    I’ve been trying to bend my smile like a length of rebar
    I’m no strongman.
    All I ever knew was that
    when I woke up in the morning, and saw your eyes opening with the sun
    the world made sense.
    Just for a second that seemed to last for years.
    And I’d realize all over again that
    I never knew what beauty meant.
    Never knew what it meant to belong.

    Hello, heart murmur.

    It sounds so foolish, so wrong, so stupid.
    Embarrassing.
    But you’re special.
    You’re so fucking special, and I just wanted to know
    that you would spend the rest of your life
    with someone who knew it.
    Who never had a second’s doubt.
    Who would love you like the grass loves the sun
    Who would love you when you grew old,
    and your skin started to sink around you like stones
    because time only made your spirit warmer to the touch
    and I knew that, if we could only mend this
    you would be loved like that forever, because
    I did. I do.
    I would never have to worry that it had gone to waste.

    Goodbye, old friend.

    I hope when you think on me, it’s with fondness
    I hope the memories don’t make you feel
    anger
    resentment
    regret

    pain

    I hope spring comes to you again
    I hope you hope
    hope you love
    hope you trust
    hope you give

    hope you accept

    hope you will be happy.
    This isn’t about me, anymore.
    I just want you to have everything.

    I love you, and the word suddenly
    means something different than I thought it did.
    I love you when you have nothing to take
    nothing to give.

    If there’s a God
    and if he’s listening
    please let him bring you peace.
    Please let him bring you love.

    If I can ask for nothing else, God
    please give me this.

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    One Response to If there is a God

    1. Anon
      August 26, 2017 at 6:30 am

      Beautiful, if only those were his words for me x




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