• to you

    by  • August 21, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    Hey, times have been hard lately, but I can’t contact you. I should, but I shouldn’t. Because there was something that happened between us. You were my best friend, my partner in crime, and most of all, you were my first love. Yes, you read right, you were my very first love, and i’m still trying to get it out of my system while you’re okay, from where you are.
    You look so happy, I guess letting you go was the right thing to do.
    You cut us off you know, all of us, and i let you, because somehow I understood why. I just thought that maybe it’s what you need, and i was right again, you’re as free as butterfly e? While I am still bounded in shackles, shackles i took from you, so you could fly. I know, I know… It’s dramatic, but i did.
    Do you remember when we first met? It was a cliched start really, but it was we just went with it. We had a group project, a performance actually, and you went to our group. I noticed that you were a bit lonely, and awkward while with this other group, you didn’t talk to them much as well, like you didn’t like being there. So we let join ours, and after that, I pestered you.. daily, ’cause you wouldn’t join us for lunch, and when going home. I stayed with you, because I thought you could use some company. I didn’t want to see you like that again. Yeah, I’m sorry about that. If I didn’t do that, this would never have happened to us.
    Did you know? That one day you told me about your feelings for me, I was surprised, I didn’t really know what to say, you were the first person close to me to ever say that you have fallen for me. But I didn’t know what to do, I just told you that it’s alright, and that nothing’s gonna change between us. I even asked you if you were sure, and do you know why? It’s because I could tell that you weren’t, maybe it was just strong affection or your caring personality you never realized you had. But i did the wrong thing too, I told you that “I do too”, because I didn’t want to lose you, because you were important to me. I’m sorry.

    And you know what’s worse? I truely fell in love with you when I knew I shouldn’t! You were the best thing that ever happened to me, but you were also the worst.

    I knew how it ended, it ended with you realizing that you really didn’t feel that way for me, and me trying to hold on, and hurting. But I knew that it would be for nothing if you stayed, so I let you go, without telling you how I feel, without telling you haw hurt I was… without telling you.. how much i loved you. I just let you.. I let you walk away to freedom. to a happy life that was long overdue.

    I only wrote this letter, so I could tell you..
    With everything I am going through because of you..
    If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t change anything. I’m glad that I met you, I’m glad I was any help to you into figuring out who you were.
    I’m glad you left..
    and I’m glad.. that you’re happy.
    I’m happy for you, I really am. But I’m sorry if i admit that I still cry.. But you don’t really have to worry about that now. You’re free.

    So for one last time..

    I’m sorry.. because I did.. and I still.. love you

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