• J.A.M.

    by  • August 21, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    J,

    You’ll probably see this. You’ll probably figure out it’s me. Not sure if I’ll be okay with that at the moment, but here I go. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I keep messing up, that I keep fucking things up. I’m sorry I’m not what you’re looking for. You deserve so much better than I can give you. All I feel like I do is hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. But whenever I tell you what’s wrong, it always seems to effect things in a negative way. I love you, more than anything. And I’ll always love you. But I’m scared. I’m scared what’ll happen in November. I’m scared what’ll happen if I lose you. I’m scared that all I ever do is hurt you. I’m trying to be strong, I am. But I’m losing myself, and I’m losing my strength, my will to fight. Fight with me. Fight for me. please. I can’t do this alone. I wanna scream for you to fight. To fight for the things you want in this world because they could be gone at any moment. I’m tired of fighting. And lowkey kinda tired of being treated like the guy in the relationship. And I can’t tell you any of this. Cause then you’ll start to beat yourself up…so…I’ll hold these struggles to myself. There’s more, trust me. But as long as you’re happy, I suppose I’ll be happy to. Because there’s a saying “you know you truly love someone when all you want in the world is for them to be happy, even if it doesn’t involve you”. So, do whatever it takes for you to be happy, even if that means breaking it off with me. Just know I’ll always love you and I’ll always be here for you, no matter what happens.

    I love you,
    J

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