So for years I had been bullied on my bus and it didn’t stop until ninth grade. So if you do the math, I was bullied for around nine years, probably less than that. I had never told anyone about the verbal abuse I took because I didn’t think I was being bullied until I realized I was in eighth grade. My bully, it’s like they wired my brain for all those years. If they talk to me, I tense up because i’m scared they’re going to hurt me. If they even put a finger on me or put a hand on my shoulder, I have a panic attack because I can’t deal with them. I’ve never told anyone this because i’m scared it would ruin my chances of being in the Marine Corps. But it honestly helps talking about it. My bully never knew what they did to me, and I want to tell them, but i’m afraid i’ll start yelling and hurt them the way they hurt me. I would never wish that on anyone, even people I hate. I hate that i’m programmed. I. HATE. THIS.