• Tell me…

    by  • July 16, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Trust • 9 Comments

    Something about you I don’t already know. I want to know you more.

    Related Post

    9 Responses to Tell me…

    1. @author
      July 16, 2017 at 9:11 am

      I hurt as much as you hurt. I am human also. I long to see you again. I write this knowing my response will be overlooked. Just know I do love you. I’m not going to beg for you to open the door you shut. It doesn’t work that way. I have learned that if a person really wants to be a part of my life, they will be. I don’t open doors other shut. If they shut a door on you and regret it, then they will prove they maybe made a mistake and open the door. It’s not that your not worth the door to be forced open by me. On the contrary! You are worth me silently letting me give you what you wanted. Why? Cause your happiness is worth that to me. I can only assume you closed the door for one reason. I wasn’t making you happy. This site use to hold hope for me, in reconciliation with us. I’m accepting that it’s just not there anymore. Hope is fading. I know I will run into people who I make happy. I hope you are surrounded by people who gives you happiness. Needless to say, if you ever want to open your closed door, I will be there for you. If you don’t open it, then I guess we just keep learning to accept it.

      Love you forever and a day, but I must start moving forward as I have been at the crosswalks of hope for too long.

      Love you unconditionally.
      Wish those words would have held value to you.




      3



      2
      • A mothafuckin' sorcerer.
        July 18, 2017 at 10:13 am

        Hi. You’ve been here awhile like so many of us who stumble over this place and then can’t bring ourselves to leave. Several people here have reasons similar to yours for sticking around. Mine isn’t the same but I wanted to share something with you anyway (oddly enough, this letter invites it)—

        I can probably count the number of people I’ve been genuinely romantically attracted to throughout life on two hands. I’m old enough to consider that amount well below average. So, for years I placed a lot of undeserved value on those relationships, regardless of the actual states they ended up in. Some years ago I was ghosted by a woman who I’d developed feelings for in a short time. She was sweet on me during this time but then quickly lost her interest and moved on, which is something that I had to unravel by myself when she stopped responding to my communications. It bothered me for a much longer time than we’d actually spent together because I rarely had those feelings for other people. That sort of rejection is a tough pill to swallow when you’re still figuring out who you are during a time when your self-image is so malleable.

        Look, I don’t know what stage of life you’re currently in or anything but I’ve noticed a certain repetition to your letters that suggests that you’re quite stuck and unsure of what to do about it. But I also get that what you’re experiencing isn’t the sort of thing that you can just talk (or write) another person out of, so here is what I can offer you–Since I run in more tight-knit circles, I was able to keep tabs on the person who broke my naive perspective on romantic attraction. She ended up doing the same thing to a lot of people in the years since, never finding someone to date for longer than a few months. It’s unfortunate because she really does have a certain magnetism in her personality that probably anybody could appreciate, but you have to wonder what people who lose their interest in others so quickly are really trying to accomplish other than a long, dissatisfying string of shallow relationships… it can’t do much but feed a dispassionate, perhaps misanthropic perspective on the inherent value of other people. Something that is so deeply ingrained that their behavior likely feels just as involuntary for them as your reaction to your recipient’s treatment of you. It took me awhile to figure that out because I needed time to better understand who I was before I could begin to examine what motivated other people. And I could well be wrong in my assessment, but I think that the fact that ten years has passed and she is just as alone and undatable as ever is a strong indicator that I’m not.

        So, to me, ghosting is an exit strategy used by people who view others as … not quite “real” to them. Not only is there a glaring lack of consideration for the other person there, but believing that you can know somebody well enough in such a short time to determine that that is the treatment they deserve is, in itself, extremely unattractive (all assuming that the person they’ve done this to wasn’t harassing them at the time). Nobody wants to keep a relationship with a person who views other people through the lens of whatever archetype they appear to fit in a few months of knowing them because those people are assholes. Sometimes we get stuck with these jerks. I had a grandparent who was like this; he struggled for years to know and treat other people well because he could not deal with growing old. Thank god he’s dead now. You aren’t stuck with your inconsiderate ghost of an ex no matter what your brain tries to tell you about it.

        I’m really not trying to tell you how you should write about this. If it was me, though, I would pour my focus into the ideas set forth in this comment—if a person really wants to be a part of your life, they will be. And if they stick around, respond to your texts, enjoy your ideas and roll over your indiscretions, they’re far more worthwhile than your recipient by virtue of the fact that they actually *like* and want to know other people.

        I’m fairly certain that whether or not you actually care about anything I’ve written here, things will get better for you. Cheers.




        1



        1
      • Redstringoffate
        July 19, 2017 at 5:51 pm

        I ghosted someone I loves and still love. There are reasons behind it. You can only dance around a bush for so long. When someone isn’t forthcomingnwith their feelings, at some.e point, you get tired and leave. When they rub things in your face. When they don’t spend as much time with you as they shpild. What’s left to talk about at that point? All their signs are pointing to the cold side of things so it only makes sense to let them find where they went wrong on their own and hope they come back. If not, oh well




        0



        1
        • The sorcerer
          July 23, 2017 at 12:39 pm

          (Disclaimer: Our participation on this website is a psychological exercise. The discussions herein concern the ideas that writers are interested in exploring, not your actual character in real life since none of us are explicitly known to each other, and should be viewed thusly.)

          Okay, so let me check the accuracy of my understanding here–you ghosted someone because they weren’t meeting your expectations, but you loved and still love them? and then you piled some *unexpressed* expectations on top of that by ignoring them and then waiting for them to “come back?” This isn’t outright criticism or anything, but I’d be lying if I omitted the fact that I’m laughing a bit right now. There is a difference between wanting to know someone and wanting them to make you feel good.

          … perhaps we don’t have the same definition of “ghosting?”




          2



          0
          • Let me tell you
            July 24, 2017 at 10:43 pm

            I don’t know who you are, or what you doing here, but your arrogance on this site simply… stinks.




            0



            1
            • Arrogance
              July 26, 2017 at 1:03 pm

              You’re right. I’m sorry.




              0



              0
    2. A response
      July 16, 2017 at 1:22 pm

      I’m not as smart as people think I am. If you could see the trail of dull decisions that led me to where I am now, you’d know better too.




      2



      2
    3. I
      July 16, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Don’t look back…




      4



      5
      • @I
        July 18, 2017 at 6:47 pm

        I’m sure you made the best decision for you. I respect that and understand why. You win. You’ve proven stronger than I. I still love you so very much. Like I’ve said, I back you 100%. Always will. If ever you decide to look back, I would be here. Even if it’s just a shoulder you need to lean on.

        Love always,
        Unconditional




        1



        1

    Leave a Reply