• Comfort

    by  • July 10, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 7 Comments

    I got some really bad news last night. You know I tend to internalize these things. But even though I cant talk to you about it, knowing that you’re out there, as gorgeous as I remember, still brings me comfort in what is going to be a very difficult stretch for me moving forward. Thank you for that. ???? Thank you for being you.

    7 Responses to Comfort

    1. To: The Artist who paints not by brush, but with words....
      July 10, 2017 at 3:02 pm

      I will be here as long as you let me be. Why? Because I do love you. I love you not as I’ve loved any other. Our love is our own. It can never be replaced. I want to be here for you. Would rather it be in person. Personally speaking, but I will take whatever you let me experience with you. Simply because I adore ALL of you! Nothing will change that! I don’t care how much crazy you expose. Let me tell you something. We all are crazy, your not special in that way. You write yours down while I choose to keep mine in. The way we handle our own crazy is the only difference between you and I. I’m no innocent party. I have never claimed ” Whoe is me!” You are a tough one. It intrigues me! I thirst to learn more of You! Am I in love with You? I dunno. I wasn’t given a chance to figure it out. I was ghosted by you. Don’t get me wrong, I deserve it. I got involved deeply with a person who told me upfront they weren’t available. You are easy to accept and you can’t accept that. Loving you comes as second nature to me because it feels right. I don’t know why? Did God bring us together and we weren’t suppose to take it where we took it? Are we meant to be lovers to help teach people not to cast the first stone and see that God’s love accepts us as we are? Were we suppose to be just friends and felt so right together that we went down a wrong path? I don’t know! I haven’t a clue, but I will ask you one thing. If it hurts us to be apart so badly, is God so harsh to make us hurt so much it’s unbearable? Just to prove our love to Him? My answer to that personally speaking is NO. My God is so loving He accepts ALL of me, fleshy side all the way to my struggling spiritual side! My decisions in life don’t determine His love for me. MY GOD LOVES ME BECAUSE OF WHO I AM DESPITE WHAT I AM. When He tells me His love is unconditional He means it! If His love for me is determined by our own fleshy decisions then I’m fucked! We all are. That’s why He chose to love us unconditionally, because not one of us are worthy and good enough! Never will be in these fleshy human bodies. I know I’m in love with You! In what way I couldn’t tell you. That’s something that takes time to learn. I’m not here to mislead or lie or take advantage of anyone’s vulnerabilities. Why? Because I was taught not to do that. Believe it or not God has taught me many, many, many things and one of those things is that He hates to see His children hurting. Being away from you hurts like hell! I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life. I dunno about you but I choose happiness. I want you physically in my life! That would make me happy. Doesn’t have to be sexual. We don’t have to be forbidden fruit to one another. We can simply be! No expectations. No fears. Be here for one another no matter what. If you think about it we love everyone in our lives that’s in our lives to some point. Why make ours conditional? Why not 100% trust each other with our hearts? Why not figure it out swimming with the flow instead of against our current? I want to be here for you when you get bad news, but it takes trust in order for that to happen! On both people’s side! Do you have my trust? Absolutely! Why? I dunno! I guess it goes along with unconditional love. I have that for you. No doubts on my end. Read into those periods too much and it could ruin what I’m trying to say. Like that old saying ” assuming too much make an ass out of you and me ing!” Don’t assume anything. That will mess with your head every time. When you love someone in any way, shape or form you owe it to them not to assume anything, but to seek truth by learning each other with them. I want to learn more about you. It will take a lifetime to do so. That’s not a chore to me, but it is an honor that I wish you would grant. Pushing people away in fears of them seeing behind masks isn’t the way. Giving people the chance to love what’s behind the mask is. Especially if they want too and would love doing so. We are our own worst critics. It’s not fair to the other person not to take masks off because you are scared of what they will see. To be truthful you shouldn’t have the assumption of what they will see. No one will ever see you as you see yourself! You live life like that, then you will have a lonely life. That’s ok if that’s what you want. If you choose to accept a life like that and are comfortable with it , then I will love you through your mask. I would hope you would face that fear! Why? Because the only person who’s opinion counts is God’s and He’s already accepted you. Who cares what others think? I want and welcome for you to see me naked without masks. Because I love you that much! I would only want that if you truly wanted to do so! It’s the people who accept me for who and what I am, to be in my life. Why? Because that makes me happy. You make me Happy! It really is that simple. I love what I’ve seen so far and physically doesn’t even begin to touch the surface. If you don’t want to expose yourself then I will have to accept that part of you and I do it willingly not because that’s only what you would give. Why? Because I love you that much. I’m in your corner! I’m your cheerleader and if I don’t make you happy physically being in your life, then I would accept that. Just because I want to be physically in each other’s lives doesn’t mean you have too! In order for us to go beyond a website we both have to want it. I want you to know I am in love with You! I want to figure it out together one day at a time enjoying every moment we’ve made for one another. Words can’t convince you. Nothing I say has any value unless your trust backs it up. I have no control over that. I LOVE YOU!!!! WHAT VALUE DO THOSE WORDS HOLD TO YOU? THAT’S THE QUESTION. Keep in mind I am aware and I hope you are aware that you owe me nothing as I owe you nothing…… proof in the pudding? I’m here writing on a site and I’m not a writer. I’d rather go paint a picture! Words are not my forte. I do this because it’s one thing I know is part of You! I enjoy it. I’m learning. English class was a c- for me!!!!! All others were A’ s and B’s. That should say something in itself 😉 .

      Writers Block

      • Not sure this is for me but I get vibes
        July 17, 2017 at 10:21 am

        You say all those things .. they’re beautiful and touching. But at the same time you are hiding in the shade.
        Do you know what would encourage me to get closer (or her, I don’t really know)? Do I have to say it?

        If you trust as you say it, show more of your face in here.

      • Me
        July 19, 2017 at 11:00 am

        I wish this was the love of my life. .. My ex..

    2. @ bad news
      July 11, 2017 at 12:57 am

      please do us a favor , be more specific about for whom this letter is, thx ! the worried ..

    3. Familiar
      July 11, 2017 at 12:26 pm

      Sure sounds like something he would think and here is me thinking….
      If he ever felt like this I wish, I only hope, that he would share and let me be more than just a thought to comfort him.

    4. fret&worry
      July 15, 2017 at 7:46 am

      Thinking of you. Hope you are ok … Please do let me know that all is good with you. Comfort

    5. Really?
      July 16, 2017 at 11:37 pm

      Are we all ‘crazy’ here, thinking that “our person” is communicating with us on this website?
      Fuck ( seriously, I usually don’t cuss), but what’s wrong with us?????

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