• We need to talk.

    by  • July 2, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    We need to talk about our future. You’re thinking of retiring in the next 2-3 years, and you’re going to get a fairly large lump sum, but you have no actual plans on what you’re going to do with it. Being that you have no plans, and no real ideas on what you’re going to do in your retirement other than go to the pub every night, and travel to various places with your other retired friends to drink beer in other cities & countries, I feel like the money is just going to be ‘wasted’. Yes, it’s YOUR money to do with what you like, but if your intention is for us to stay together forever, can I just make one request? It might seem a bit of a cheek for me to ask for some of your money, but even if *you* don’t have a plan for our future, I do.
    What I would like to do is buy a small flat with a garden, so I can get a dog, in the town where I work, and where property prices are low. All I want is a 10% deposit to buy the flat… 7k or 8k max. The rest of your money is obviously yours to spend as you like. Yes, I know it’s a crappy town, but its where I work, and I would be able to come home at lunchtime and let the dog out. It’s also very convenient for transport, and a couple of your friends already live there and find it to be ok.
    Ideally, I would like the flat to be for both of us. But I know that you do not want to move house, and that there is a strong chance that you’re going to dig your heels in and refuse to move. You’ve lived in this flat your whole life, all your memories of your now deceased family are in this flat. And not only memories… it’s a 3 bedroom flat, which we are only able to use 1 bedroom, because the other 2 are full to bursting of things –mainly junk– which you refuse to get rid of. Thousands of vinyl records, I can understand, even though we’ve no turntable to play them on — they have a value. But not mouldy old t-shirts 3 sizes too small, crappy plastic toys, hundreds of pint glasses, broken chairs, mouldy old wardrobes, paper, paper and more paper… university papers, newspapers, files from a job you left 15 years ago, scribbled reminder notes, shopping lists, pre-millennium bank statements, MOT certificates and repair receipts for cars you no longer own, printouts of itineraries/boarding passes from holidays 10 years ago. So much paper. There are bottles of beer covered in thick dust, with labels showing expiry dates 5+ years ago. So much stuff that is of no value; just junk. So the doors to these 2 rooms remain shut, and I fight a daily battle to try to keep your hoard from spilling over into the rest of the flat.
    Even with all of that, I would stay in this flat if it were on the ground floor and had a garden, so that I can have a dog. There’s no way I can have a dog in this flat, with all the stairs and with the small space left to live in after the hoard is behind closed doors.
    And if you’re no longer working, there is no real reason to stay in this town. It’s far-flung and inconvenient, although beautiful, and requires me to make a 45-minute each way commute to my work. If we no longer need to be near your work, why can’t we move to near my work, since I will still be working for at least another 10-15 years?
    You have always been so sweet and kind and generous to me for the whole of our 9 year (so far) relationship, but I think this is a turning point which is going to make or break us.
    As I said, ideally you and I would both move to a new place, and live happily ever after with our dog in a nice, tidy home, nearer to my work, nearer to our friends/social circle. But if you refuse to make this move with me, I think I am going to need to make the move on my own, if you will give me the deposit on the flat. I just wish you would think about it and consider the pros and cons very carefully before saying no. Because the way I see it, there many, many, many pros, and only 1 con, which is the pain of de-hoarding.

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