A few years ago, I was bullied. And all the times I never cared about what they did to me, and I never once stood up for myself because these people who bullied me were my “so called friends.” I was afraid that I won’t get any friends, I was scared of the loneliness. But little did I know, no matter how many people surrounded me, I can still feel lonely. There is a difference between lonely and being alone, some people should learn that. And there is a difference between jokes and actually being mean, and some people should know the differences.
We live in a generation where we let out our anger, our sadness towards someone else’s because the feelings that stays inside hurts so bad to the point it needs to get out of our broken soul. But we should never let go our anger and sadness to someone else because they might also went through a battle, and each of them are fighting their own just as much we are fighting ours.
How the emptiness works inside me is like, I am standing around places that I want to go, things I’d kill to have, but still feel like there is something missing. That there is something that is happening, that isn’t right. Until I figured it out what it is, I am what’s wrong. It’s me that is missing. I lost my soul long time ago and I’ve been dead inside for years and I hide it well with a smile on my face. How do I know I’ve been hiding it well? They believed the act of happiness I’ve spread towards them.
All my life, I’ve been the one who keeps on making other people happy, and my decisions were never mine, and what is mine was never mine to begin with, the only way for me to get rid of the emptiness inside is to find happiness. And I hope one day I can be as happy as I want to be, and I hope you can too.