It’s been a hard day, love. I’m struggling to keep my head above the tide of emotion that threatens to drown me. It seems so pale in comparison to your sacrifice… how you were able to act with honor. I tell myself that it’s my turn…I’m trying to live a life you’d be proud of. It’s been my turn…for so long. I’d rather that you’d come home alive, that you’d never gotten on that plane, that you’d never been deployed. I’d rather be your wife. I’d rather have lived a life fighting over silliness, making up, loving crazily, being us. Just us. Our children. Our dreams.
It’s father’s day. Kiss our baby boy. Tell him I still think of him every day. Know that I miss you, my love, every moment. I am still here, and there is nothing…nothing…that can erase us. Time, life, distance ~ it’s been able to help me survive, but hasn’t changed my reality. I love you. Only you. Always you. Forever, it would seem.
I hope you’ve found peace, my darling.