Since last time I wrote you things did change, and changed again.
I usually say this indecision is what makes things interesting, but I have to be honest: It is hard to cope with it.
One day you make me rise to the moon, the day after you slam me hard down to earth.
If I only would know what you feel for me I could live with it.
But right know I have no idea if I am anyone worth in your life.
I want to see you, and all my approaches are failing one after the other.
It is true, I never asked you to actually go with me, but you also know I cannot be direct with you, there is too much at stake.
Time will cure my disappointment and crushed hopes, but I cannot risk to ruin the 8 to 5 relationship we must keep going.
I need you to trust me there, and I need you to do your best – what I feel is secondary.
Am I too subtle? Are you glad to be able to escape my attempts so gracefully?
You see, I don’t want one of those fairy tales stories. Chocolate and flowers are the least I am after.
I would like to get you know better, I would like to understand if this chemistry is only in my head – at least once. I want another of those nights out.
Something between me and you, and no one else.
If you will ever ask, I will not lie: my previous stories have been a boring nightmare. This time I will not pretend to be the sane, unfortunate person.
My expectations and wishes are very different from what you may think, and I am willing to play with open cards.
But you need to give me a chance. You need to make a step.
Right now my hands are tied: One word more and I will possibly ruin everything.
I cannot risk that, therefore I will stop.
It is up to you to say something, to trigger our game once again.
Please do. Please ask me if I need company for my trip.
I am here, for you I’ve always been.
Goodbye strange one.