• Letter To My 17-Year Old Self

    by  • June 13, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    Dear Anna who is sitting on the bathroom floor and crying,
    I remeber how you feel and what are you thinking. I am watching you right now and I feel sorry for you. If you want answers to questions that are bothering you, here it is. Yes, some things will change. You will look prettier. In a couple of days you will get rid of those braces that you hate. Your acne will be under control and your skin will be better. You will have nicer hair and you will have ok make up skills. Your nails will be even prettier. Your new surrounding will be much better and you will love what are you studying. Boys will be attracted to you. You will have great friends. Here it is. But, unfortunately some things won’t change. You’ll still feel empty inside, completely. You’ll still consider yourself ugly. Stupid. Annoying. And boring. You’ll still be coming here, to the exact same place, to sit on the bathroom floor and cry. Because you still think you don’t deserve to be happy. You don’t deserve good things to happen in your life. You don’t deserve those cool friends, great university and beautiful family. You don’t deserve attention from boys, especially the good ones, let alone a date, and a relationship isn’t even worth mentioning. Who would want to be with you? This pathetic you? What do you have to offer to someone? Only problems. Here is an answer to one more question you have – yes, you will fall in love, with a boy who even wanted to look at you. I don’t know why he did, to be honest. And I don’t blame him for leaving, the boy figured out everything in time. It is your problem that you liked him so much, so fast and that you were emocionally broken when he hurt you and everything ended. You let him hurt you, not once, but three times. An even bigger problem, that you were recovering from that for almost a year, is also yours. What were you expecting? That he cared about you? You think too highly of yourself. The make up you wear helps only in pretending that everything is ok. Because you know that nobody cares about what is going on inside. And do you know why? Because it is not important. Because you don’t matter. And that is it, the answers to all of your questions and all of your worries. If you had gone to sleep in the third grade in highschool, you wouldn’t miss much, because nothing would change. The sun rises every morning and falls every evening.

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