• Don’t

    by  • June 13, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    I can breathe without you. In songs, whenever someone is about to leave, they always say, “I can’t breathe without you,” to keep their significant other there with them. But I can breathe without you. So you don’t have to stay for that reason. I can survive and I can function without you, although I’d be a lot happier if you decided to stay. But this is not a text about how sad I’d be without you, meant to guilt you into wanting me. Instead of telling you how unhappy I am when you’re gone, I want you to know how happy I am when you’re beside me.

    I know it seems like I’m not pleased with our relationship lately, and that I have complained a few times about things you can’t help. But I promise you, I love you just the way you are. When I’m with you, I feel lighter. Like I can float through life instead of struggling to take more than two steps forward. You make me smile even when I don’t want to. Just the thought of your inappropriate jokes and your laughter makes me smile a tiny bit.

    And you make me want to better myself. You make me challenge my own limitations and you make me grow into something stronger. The way your eyes used to soften when I am sad, the longing to make my sadness disappear behind them, makes me warm inside. When they grew distant and detached with time these past few weeks, I could feel myself crumbling inside. I wish I could still make those eyes glimmer with humor and happiness the way I used to.

    But you don’t have to stay. In fact, I don’t want you to stay if you don’t love me anymore. It’d hurt me more if you pretended to still want me when my prescence actually annoys you. So I set you free, if that’s what you want. I’ll manage without you and you know that. You know I can survive on my own if I have to.

    Just please don’t leave if you actually do love me deep down. Don’t go away if there is a chance we can still make this beautiful again. And don’t stay if there is no love left. Don’t go against your feelings, please. Just don’t.

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