• Unrest

    by  • June 6, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Moving On • 3 Comments

    Dear T.F.,

    Why? No matter what I do, I always think about that night. Why? Why now? Please, I can’t take this anymore. I wish I could just send this all to you . The hurt, the memories, the ache – take it all, please. Because it’s my fault for opening my heart to you . No matter how hard I try to forget, you seem to always wind up in my head. And my heart doesn’t know what to feel … what to do with the though of you. I sometimes find myself dreaming about you. Dreaming about me and you back home. Wondering how I should have stayed. Dreaming that I’d be with you now. And it scares me, because my heart already belongs to someone else. It hurts. SO MUCH. Because it’s not supposed to be this way. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t wait. That I was too heartbroken and selfish to see that you had nothing to do with us not being together. NO. Because I should have told you everything. I let my doubts and fears get ahead of me. I’m sorry for leaving you behind. But now, I know that I’ve to put you – us – where we belong: the past. So, I’ll put the memories of you in a box and hide you beneath the recesses of my mind. Lock the box and destroy the key. For good.

    I once thought that “it is as great a thing to love as it is to be loved. Love is not something that can be wasted.” But now I’ve come to the realization that, “if you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.”

    With Love,


    3 Responses to Unrest

    1. @author
      June 6, 2017 at 5:38 pm

      I dunno about you, but to me letting go and pushing away are two totally different things. See letting go is done if the person your letting go wants to go. Cutting someone out of your life because your scared or overwhelmed is pushing them out of your life. Which did you do? Did the person tell you they wanted to go? Did you assume they wanted to go because their life took a drastic turn do to events they couldn’t help and had to figure out? What if they wanted you to be a part of helping them figure it out? Did you let them go because of the right reasons? Did you want them gone and didn’t know how to tell them. If you answered yes to any of those questions you in fact pushed them away.

      Did they look in your eyes and ask to be let go? Well then maybe they didn’t want to be let go of.

      Either way when two people say forever no matter what ( which we both did) then either decision was wrong……

      You should then be apart of each other’s lives and figure out together how that would be. That is a true friendship. That is a true unbreakable bond.

      When one breaks that bond by pushing one out and the other person says let’s try and figure this out, that all you have to do is open the door you shut, then you open the door. If you don’t then the otherror person just accepts that the one that pushed them away, wants no more to do with them.

      Are you wanting them to save you from a choice you made? Would that be fair on the one pushed out?

      To me the person ( if remorseful for a choice they see they unintentionally made out of fear) should take the leap in opening the door. Too realize the other person ment forever when they said it……

      Your right if you set someone free because they wanted to go, then they come back and you still love them, then it’s meant to be.

      If you pushed them away and don’t open the door of regret, then it’s best you move forward as they do as well.

      Best wishes Author,

      • M.e.
        June 7, 2017 at 10:22 pm

        She pushed me away…

    2. BG
      June 8, 2017 at 7:27 pm

      MJP.. is that you?

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