My hearts muse,
Yes, I’ve said I was done countless times. I, as you must be, have grown tired of the ritual tap dance around the subject of unilateral want. I just ask if all I thought I heard was not heard, misread, or just flat made up in my mind. I thought I felt a return of my internal heat and heard words of a returned desire. Now I question my own ability to decipher what I lived. Was there anything there? It won’t change a thing in our worlds. I’m not going to suddenly appear in your life again, as much as I am sometimes drawn to. Maybe it is just some stupid misread on my part but the continual evasion has always haunted me. I would love to know your inner workings intimately, not in a sexual sense but in a best friend kind of way. The lengthy separation and absence of communication created a knowledge black hole for us both, possibly too deep to fill in this lifetime. The main question stands, what was I? Please be direct and don’t worry about hurting my feelings, I am without pride in this matter anymore. I’ve felt like a three ring idiot for too long and really need to hear cold hard facts.