• not that strong

    by  • May 15, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 2 Comments

    why do i always do this
    i always put up a strong front
    i lie and say that im fine
    when in all actuality,
    i need nothing more than to break down in her arms.
    these nightmares are killing me
    slowly but surely tearing me apart
    everyone thinks im fine and that im strong and not easily hurt,
    but little does everyone know just how easily damaged i am.
    i want nothing more than for her to look me in the eyes and tell me that im allowed to break down in front of her.
    i need her to just hold me and tell me that its going to be okay and that i dont always have to be strong.
    the weight on my shoulders is unbearable.
    the only time im allowed to fall apart is late at night when i cry myself to sleep.
    i just wish she would hold me and just let me get rid of every negative emotion im feeling.
    i need her arms around me and to just crumble to pieces.
    but i have to be strong.
    the strong older sister.
    the shoulder to cry on.
    the emotionless one.
    the strong friend everyone goes to.
    the one who is never bothered by anything.
    but thats not who i am.
    im not that strong…

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    2 Responses to not that strong

    1. feeling with you
      May 16, 2017 at 1:14 am

      I know this too well. When I’m with my family I need to be strong and control my emotions. Otherwise things are getting much worse. Luckily I also found people who accept me as I am and support me as well during emotionally tough times. You do not always have to be strong. Wish you that you’ll find your safe place.




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    2. Kate
      May 18, 2017 at 10:40 pm

      You are strong dear one. Stronger then you know. You don’t have to be a rock for others all the time. You should be allowed to put yourself first. You are human and you are allowed to be not ok all of the time. “People cry not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.” Much love to you <3




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