I have been ignoring my conscience and common sense for too long, enjoying and maybe even nurturing these inappropriate feelings toward you. I think I must do my best to extricate you from my heart, before I cause any real trouble.
I’ve come up with all sorts of reasons why I have been susceptible to your charms, but I think those reasons fail to account for how long such conditions have existed in my life and yet, I was well. “Till all graces be in one,” as Benedick opined.
Be that as it may, however perfect-for-me you seem, we do not exist in a vacuum, and circumstances do not conform to my desires. In reality, we do not even know each other so well. And that’s completely leaving your feelings out of the equation, since there’s no reason to believe you would ever have felt the same for me.
I hope that you are unaware of the thoughts and feelings that have formed the backdrop of my mental landscape for several months now. I wish I could be more confident in my discretion, but you have shown yourself to be uncomfortably perceptive. I hope now, as I attempt to push back such mental impropriety, that my behavior does not change considerably nor engender confusion in anyone.
I also don’t know how successful I’m likely to be. I had originally assumed the feeling/infatuation/limerence/whatever would fade on its own, as suggested by much of what I’ve seen on the subject. It didn’t develop instantaneously, though, so perhaps hoping it would burn itself out easily was just another case of my wishful thinking. For everyone’s sake, I hope I don’t give up if the progress is as slow and inconsistent as I suspect it will be.
So, anyway, this is not goodbye to you. It is only an attempt to say farewell for my careless handling of dangerous emotions. I still hope that someday, if you would wish it, we could be good friends.
Well, not sure how to sign-off, as my usual is a tad distinctive…