Obviously over the years I’ve had a lot of time to think. Think about you, think about me, think about us. Timeflies…regardless really, doesn’t it?
I know that at one time or another I’ve blamed you for a lot that’s gone wrong in my life. I know I’ve directed a lot of anger towards you. I am sorry. In truth, there’s still a lot I don’t understand when it comes to things you said or did. But we’re moving forward right?
I’ve had an idea developing now for awhile, maybe more of a reflection, but I haven’t known how to really express it. You are NOT the root of my problems. But whether you believe me when i say this or not, you are the solution. I’ve played it out in my mind so many times and in so many ways, but the answer is inescapable: you are what makes me go. You are the one, the only one, who takes me to the next level, and the one after that, and the one after that. I’ve known this to some degree for some time.
But what took me longer to realize is this – just because you are the answer and my problems haven’t been solved doesn’t make you a part of the problems. That’s like an addict blaming his drug of choice for his withdrawal symptoms. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, it’s late and I’m really tired but I hope you understand what I mean.
For my part, I think that if I can continue working on not blaming you for bad things in my life, it will help me better appreciate all the wonderful things you’ve given to me. Anyways, that’s something that I’m working on.