5 years! 5 years of my life, 2 years as best friends. I should’ve let it be that way.
I loved you with all my heart, pulled down my walls and let you see me. the real me. the me that no1 else saw or knew.
All those years, the things I did for you, all the love, the memories, the effort, emotions…but in the end it did not matter..Did it?…. because am a girl and your a boy. because a boy shouldn’t bow down or compromise else the world will laugh at him. The things I wanted to give up for you, the dreams I wanted to let go to be with you, because I put your needs ahead of mine. You couldn’t give up your pride.
I feel so stupid about letting it go on. I feel so stupid for not standing up for myself
You said u were standing up for me, for us. Bullshit! You were standing up for yourself, your beliefs your family, your pride. I was standing up for us and you were standing up for YOURSELF. I just never told you what happened when you were not there. About how I tried to fight for US, but in the end you stabbed me in the back. How foolish you made me feel.
You think it went so far because of your efforts. Bullshit again. How delusional you are and how immature!
I thought You would be the one to save me but you just destroyed me. Your words broke me.
But all this taught me how strong I am. I remember you used to call me weak.
I stand up for myself now
I learnt to be on my own and I am fine being alone.
I now know who will stand by me no matter what
I know now that people will talk crap about you no matter how good you are to them
I learnt that people who love you will not belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself
I learnt that not everyones opinion matters
I learnt that I should have a say in my life.
I learnt that I can save myself and I will pull myself up and conquer my demons.
I am learning so much about myself now. Making myself better and better.
So THANK YOU for breaking my heart. I am rebuilding myself one day at a time.
I don’t hate you for all that happened and the anger is slowly fading away. I hope you grow up and learn that at the end of the day its not your pride that will keep you warm and loved. I hope you do well in life.
One day, I’ll be able to open up again and let someone love me for me.
Till then I will wait and learn to love myself.