It doesn’t hurt any less. I’m just better at managing the pain.
I can’t believe how it’s possible to carry love for someone for near a decade, and still after all the times have it not work out.
But I never believed you felt the same. I don’t know any more, you made out as if you did when we were at the end, when you couldn’t forgive the things I had done and said for hurt.
Hurt doesn’t go away, would have hurt less believing it was nothing to you, but I keep reminding myself it means nothing to you now, and still, it hurts.
It’s been over a year since I was last intimate with you, and a lot of fights and nastiness in between, attempts to repair crashed and only made the fighting worse.
I don’t know who you are anymore, and I’m starting to believe it will always feel this way.
I’m sorry, for everything. But you’re not. You can’t see cause and effect; you can’t take responsibility for your own actions and in doing so allow me to take responsibility for my own without blame.
And now, there’s nothing left to say, not anything that hasn’t already been said, I hurt if u don’t turn around and I hurt if you do.
I love you.
I’m revealing my name in this letter because I’m saying goodbye to this site.
You’re not here and you never will be.