• Goodbye

    by  • April 20, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Sorry • 2 Comments

    I don’t know what drove me to think this way but for the past few weeks i have felt nothing but pure distress. I feel like everyone is laughing at me 24/7, i feel like they think im a fool and that they think im worthless. im just taking up space and i dont inform people of my troubles in fear that they will not understand, push me away, or lie to me. i dont feel like they care, i feel like im all alone. I sit here, in an empty auditorium and no one surrounds me. all my friends are with each other, but where do i stand? where do i belong? i don’t think i’ll ever find someone who will make me feel less lonely. I don’t think i ever will. I don’t want to keep going on like this, i want it to all stop. my family refuses me, my friends refuse me my school refuses me, and my own self love is non-existent. I dont want to do it, i dont want to put forth effort anymore, i just want to go somewhere else. I want to find a nice beautiful landscape i can treasure my thoughts and love into. i wish that i had some sense of mind and i could think straight but everything is hitting me at once and it hurts. I dont want to cry myself to sleep anymore. i want to die. thats what i want. im sure thats what everyone else wants too. They just want me to go away, and well i want that too. So im leaving. where to? i do not know. all i know is that i want to get out of here, away from all of these troubles. I fought for so long and for what? so that i can fight more? i try to stay strong but the whispers pull me down and i just dont want to hear it anymore. i might give life one more chance but i don’t know. Maybe i’ll be alone forever, maybe i’ll leave it all behind, and maybe even then, nobody will notice im gone.
    Goodbye, forever.

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    2 Responses to Goodbye

    1. 21 21
      April 21, 2017 at 2:59 am

      I would notice. I notice everyday already… guess that is the trouble in me. You know I am always willing to listen. You just have to let me know when its okay to call.


    2. Right
      April 30, 2017 at 8:57 am

      I hear yah. The wanting to run, oh no, not me, I will not run from myself, from my own feelings. Be tuffer. You can. I do it everyday. Be tuff, stand in the face of all the conformist little ducklings playing follow the leader. Cowards never travel alone! You are traveling alone, why? Because you are not a coward, it is the space you need to dicover who your best friend really is. That friend is you, so grab your bffs hand and go find things that make your heart sing. Go find your tribe running bear, and trip and fall and get back up. You are loved. This is how we learn , we suffer, we accept it and we take steps to help ourselves, we grow and expand and share what we have done.



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