• Still Here

    by  • April 17, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 9 Comments

    I follow this site a little too closely. Any one of these could be from you. You might hate me, you might love me, it might be both. Or neither. It’s cruel to myself really, but I can hardly cope without some form of communication from you. The thought of you hating me is easier to handle than having turned into nothing to you at all. I wish you would talk to me.

    I constantly try to remind myself that you had to leave. There’s nothing I could do. I understand why, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I still blame myself. I didn’t do enough or I was too much. You may have tried to tell me otherwise, but all I can see are faults of mine. It has never stopped me thinking that you would eventually come back though. That what we had was real. The most beautiful thing I will ever know. You have never left my mind. You feel like home to me in a way that no one ever has.

    I don’t know that I’m any kind of thought to you at all anymore. I don’t know what has gone on in the eternity that has passed. I don’t know how you feel. I do know that you were broken. I hope you’re finding your way through. I’ll always hope that for you. For myself too. I don’t know about you, but it’s really hard to imagine that for myself right now. Not like this. Not without you. I’m still shattered, and the world isn’t helping. I’ve just kept my head down, blindly pushing forward. I’ve never stopped wishing, hoping, pleading for you to come back.

    Please come back to me. We have a lot of repairs to make, a lot of work to do, but I’ve never questioned our ability to get through this, to get through everything. You’re still the only one I want.

    I love you so much
    I miss you so much

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    9 Responses to Still Here

    1. Redstringoffate
      April 17, 2017 at 5:52 pm

      I feel like this letter applies to me but that’s just crazy talk. Now isn’t it?

      Love S


      • The Road Less Travelled
        April 21, 2017 at 3:10 pm

        Love is crazy. We do things for the first time or many a pleasurable spontaneous action packed adventures that we treasure. Our memories, ones shared with the One we love is forever beautiful as is the limitless rays of light that is her, you, friends, family & most importantly ourselves…


        • Cello lame
          April 22, 2017 at 9:07 am

          I’d rather not have a memory in this case. He manipulated me and she gave me herpes which makes me want to kill every inch of him and her. Smash everything and kill their light. Beautiful? No. Not in the least bit.


    2. Dark Angel
      April 18, 2017 at 10:54 am

      It’s said that some people come into your life for a reason, a season or for a lifetime.

      I too miss someone that I thought would be in my works for a lifetime but realize it was just meant to be a for a season. When Love and trust are gone, you have to move on , no matter how much it hurts.

      Take care
      Dark Angel


    3. Well.
      April 19, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      Why are women always waiting for the men that hurt them to come back? So many of these men by their actions, prove they don’t care. If he has ignored you, called you any names, hung up on you, walked away, refused to speak to you, cheated on you etc etc then he doesn’t CARE and he will continue to act in these ways if he comes back. These men are great with the smooth talk and being with them is like drinking champagne but they are almost ALWAYS cowards who have no resilience to work through problems in relationships and bail at the first sign of discord. When you say WE have a lot of work to do – most men are only willing if YOU do all the work and they stay the same. You’ll exhaust yourself trying to work things out with someone like that. Most men see women as revolving doors – easy come, easy go. Porn etc has given the impression to them that there is a great line up of available women just waiting to have sex with them. Why in the hell would they put in work when they can just move on and pretend you don’t exist? The only time they pretend to work on the relationship is when they feel they may lose half ‘their’ assets. Bitter? No, realistic.


      • ~ C ~
        April 22, 2017 at 10:53 pm

        Thank you for putting it so bluntly and asking the why of it all. Helps to reinforce the question in my mind and one step closer to clarity and freedom of mind.


      • Tearied Eyed Me.
        April 23, 2017 at 6:27 am

        Bitter, realistic, maybe. The truth is all that matters. Words said sometimes shouldn’t have been voiced. I’ve done this, no more though & never shall I. Regardless if right or wrong. Both making things worse to no return. Let the pain go. Women equally no better or worse. Both must admit to themselves at some level we are at fault to a degree? I’m sorry. Men have feelings too. Hearts broken. Especially when what you wrote is personally at me. Shall I say your name & call you out. Its ok. Answer me this? Why is it ok for women to say piercing words, knowingly hurt him yet when he says what he feels back, or expresses himself, he is at fault & much worse. Every love I’ve known has done this. I’ve asked many men on this subject too. But what would I know.



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