I know that we’ve never really been the people to bear our feelings, but I want you to know this because it comes from the heart.
I know it’s been a long road. I know that growing up, and even now sometimes, we don’t see eye to eye. You may feel like we are so opposite, and that I am angry at you for the things that I have experienced. I just want you to know that I’m not angry at you, I know you did the best you could and you gave me all you had.
As a parent, you want your child to grow up to be a successful and happy adult. You want them to have the confidence to move through life with easy and joy; and you want them to have better that what you had. I know we were poor and you couldn’t give me all the things that you wanted to give me. And I know that you were gone a lot because you were working; and when you were home, you were tired because you worked the graveyard shift weeks in a row. I know that you feel that you failed to give me things you wanted me to have. And I know it hurts you that I’ve made so many mistakes because you see it as being your fault.
I just want you to know that I don’t blame you. My shortcomings are that of my own. Just know that I’m trying to be a better person and work hard so you won’t have to worry anymore.
I want you to know that you are the reason I am a nice person. You have compassion for others and always taught me to say and do the right things; even when it wasn’t the easiest or most popular decision. You taught me to be creative and love the arts. You taught me what hard work was. You taught me to be good. What successes I have is because of your sacrifices and the time you spent with me.
Looking back, we’ve been through a lot. And I know that you remember the bad times just as well as I do. But I also remember the good times. I remember laughing with you watching MadTV on our old box TV with rabbit ears taped up to get a good reception. I remember dancing to the Ramones and Green Day with you. I remember being the only kid whose parent let them experiment with their style and feel like a badass. I take those good times with me wherever I go. Because those, unlike material possessions, last forever. Please don’t be sad. And please don’t worry about me- I’ll be fine. I wish you could see what I see, and remember what I remember.
I’m not mad at you, because you did the best you could. You taught me how to be bold yet compassionate. You taught me to be self-assured yet humble. You taught me how to live bravely yet sensibly. I take this with me everywhere. And that means more to me than you will ever know.