I really hope… That the letter may be from you.
I can’t be 100% sure, but rn I’m 84% convinced it’s quite likely so I’m going to go with it and be happy believing it is you.
I am sorry. I couldn’t be more sorry.
It would mean more to me than anything to have your forgiveness and to be able to move forwards.
You know how much you mean to me so why would I not acknowledge you. Well.. The only reason is because, you have let me know that you don’t want me to.
I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or have any more dislike towards me.
So as much as I want to look at you/approach you/wave from a distance, I can’t.
The thing for me is I feel life is too short. I have lost people the same age as me, some younger already and it’s only helped to strengthen the realisation that life is so precious. And yes you can make mistakes but you can’t fret over them because no one will really analyse them when you’re gone especially if they could be linked to some good intention.
But at the same time you can’t set yourself alight just to keep other people warm.
The balance is something that seems to be endless in definition and understanding.
I would do things differently now, but back then maybe no. Maybe. I would hope so. I am much wiser now, yet I don’t hate myself as much as I did then as I know that despite everything I did not act in an intended malicious way at all. I would not act in that way now, more because I am more protective of myself to not care so strongly towards anyone else without considering the outcome risks.
I do feel incredibly sad that I could have at all upset you, made you angry, uncomfortable, etc.
I never wanted that at all.
I hope that you understand that.
The question is will you ever be able to forgive me?
I was silly, immature, bold. But not, heartless or aggressive. That isn’t part of me.
Will you have time to talk at some point?
It can be another 5 years, up to you. Would rather not wait another day, but I have to leave it up to you.
This is indication that you want to reconnect and patch things up which I am completely open to.
I miss you! And hope you’re okay. And hope to see you soon!!?