• How to not let someone intimidate you at work

    by  • April 2, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Advice • 4 Comments

    This person basically tries to get under my skin by coming around me and talking to anyone who is working next to me and it’s not a hi bye she’ll stand there and have a full on conversation. Or walking by me and staring and I know it’s all to get under my skin. I know I should do nothing and act like it doesn’t bother me but it does. It’s a long story to explain why this is happening but basically it’s about my boyfriend and she doesn’t like the fact that he and I are together. I want nothing to do with her but she comes around me on purpose and it’s bothering me to the point where I’m thinking of quitting which would be exactly what she would like. We’ve had one verbal ‘altercation’ where she approached me while I was with customers which was totally inappropriate but since then no words have been spoken and I don’t want to speak to her. She just continues to intimidate me and act like a 17 year old instead of the 40 year old woman she is. Because of how I’ve reacted (walking away when she was talking to the girl beside me) I think she knows she is bothering me so it’s working in her favour. How do I deal with this?

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    4 Responses to How to not let someone intimidate you at work

    1. CJ
      April 2, 2017 at 2:16 pm

      Exactly – WHY does it bother you? You seem emotionally invested in what she thinks of you? Is that why what she does irritates you? The minute you don’t give a shit – will be when it stops bothering you. The other thing you could do which has worked very well for me in the past is actually confront her outside and away from people – ‘what is your problem with me – I would like to work this out and you seem to have a huge problem with me – maybe we should let our supervisor or HR help us move towards a better working relationship because I feel uncomfortable when you stare at me.” – Usually when you do this wankers like this woman back down and deny – they HATE confrontation or admitting they are acting like children – that will be end of story. ANother thing that works well is that EVERY SINGLE TIME she says anything remotely insulting or off – instead of ignoring it , say ‘Excuse me, I didn’t hear you, could you repeat what you just said” – EVERY SINGLE TIME without fail these cowards will not want to repeat what they just said. Sooner or later passive aggressive losers fade away if you keep highlighting their passive aggressive bullshit to them. Ignoring them also works because she wouldn’t be doing it if she wasn’t getting some kind of satisfying reaction from you. Again, WHY do you care – how is this womans opinion of you affecting you? Bullies can’t bully is the victim simply doesn’t respond. Take care.


    2. Kelly
      April 3, 2017 at 9:59 am

      Hi thank you for your response. To explain it a little better, my boyfriend and I and her all work in the same place (different departments). My boyfriend and her have been friends for a long time and when we started dating things were fine, she even told him she was happy for him etc. But soon after she tried to start drama by randomly telling my boyfriend that I was talking shit about her which was not true, I had never talked about her at all. My boyfriend told me he believes me and he didn’t understand why she would say that or what she wants exactly but ever since he kind of stopped talking to her. He’ll speak to her at work if he has to but that’s it. I think that has made her hate me because she blames me for the fact that my boyfriend and her are not friends anymore although I didn’t do anything, she is the one who tried to start problems between us. So when she came up to me that day she said something along the lines of “you’re the reason he doesn’t talk to me anymore and I don’t care but just know I’ve never done anything to you”. And I was like well actually you did do something but yeah, she walked away and that was the end of the conversation. Now she just tries to intimidate me. I’ve told my boyfriend about it and he told me to not do anything and just be the bigger person and ignore her. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by it and he doesn’t seem to care that she’s upset (which is good in a way) but she wants to make my time there hell. I know I should just do nothing and ignore her but it’s not that easy to do.


    3. an attempt for an advice
      April 6, 2017 at 3:06 pm

      Hey, what really counts is what is between you and him. Nothing else matters. You don’t know what really happened between him and her. You only know his kind of story. It might be right, it might be wrong. She is not that important. Don’t give her so much space in your life. Be professional, try to focus on your work. I know this is much easier said than done, but try to see it as a challenge. She is just someone completely unimportant trying to make you mad. Stay calm and keep being graceful. You will know what is to do when the time is right.


    4. Maybe
      April 6, 2017 at 6:24 pm

      Act real happy and and ignore her attempts . Let her hate you at a distance. If she screws with u , every single time she speaks to you say something really bizzar or imbarrassing, like oh , you have a bugger right here…and point to your own nose, or look at her real strange then,straiten up quic.when she asks whats wrong go oh nothing, no worry,and laugh..and keep cracking up. Then every time you see her be on the verge of laughter. Life is a game, regardless of if you want to play or not, your in this game. So, be smart, clever,creative, and turn the experience with her into someting you’ll have fun and laugh about. She’ll back off once she understands you’ll outwit her. If its a game of chess, don’t be a pawn.have fun with the moron.



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