I am nearly certain of it. They come from nowhere. Paralyzing shocks out of thin air. Sometimes so strong they knock me down and leave me struggling to breath. Sometimes it takes days to recover. They sap me of my own energy.
That’s how I figured it out, you know. There has only ever been one common thread.
Nothing was ever strong enough to bring me to my knees before you. My golden birthday girl. Who knew you were capable of feeling so deep, so strong, so sad – for so long? Enough to turn your emotions into blasts of electricity that can travel any distance.
My problem is, I have now become accustomed to the pain of your jolts. I often even kind of find a familiar comfort in the pain when it happens. Instead of trying to block it, I absorb it all and then wallow in the aftermath. After it happens, I think I can logically sort it out if I think long and hard enough about it. That I can figure a way to explain it, or atleast figure a way to prevent it from ever happening again. But there is never any answer. Never any direct evidence. There is no logic to it. I mean Tesla had some interesting theories on the subject and all, but are they proven? He also spoke of insanity, which obviously this post proves I am familiar with.
Sometimes I think it is so selfish of
for you to continue to do. You have to know by now how it effects me. To know that when you send out your invisible electric butterflies they only have 1 place to go. I am your grounding rod. I absorb all of your negative energy. For you. For me, your happiness is more important than my own.
Then I think, maybe it works both ways. If that is the case, I guess we can call it even????
My current may not be as powerful as yours, but I know it is a much more consistent frequency. A constant pulse. My heart beats for you. It always has. I can only imagine how uncomfortable that has been for you, down here in this crazy place.
Is it sometimes too much to take? Is that why you send me your jolts? To try to shock my heart into beating for someone else? I really hope you don’t want it to stop beating all together? Not going to happen. I am stronger than that. I will learn my lessons here. For you. For the next time. Please do the same.
Perhaps we can make a deal?
Maybe we can both try to keep it more positive? Maybe dial down the voltage a notch or two on your end? If you do that for me, I’ll do my best to give you more breaks from my constant current. I can’t always control it, but I do know how.
Relationships are all about compromises right? Even if they are only invisible energetic (emotional) ones.
Our journeys are separate, yet they are the same. Deep down, I know you understand this. Take peace.