I miss you. Left because it was better too. She made me sick. No, you think I mean disgusted. I actually mean sick. She gave me something or maybe he did, either way I trusted them and got burned which unfortunately in turn made me blame you for even bringing that into my life. It made me face my mistake of letting it happen. My being weak. My being stupid and not protecting myself as I should have. My entering of a situation in which your approval was really what I was seeking. That’s how fucked up I was at that point. Blinded by these irrational crazy feelings for you. By crazy I mean I literally would have taken a bullet for you. You presence moved my soul as soon as our eyes met after twenty yrs. I got knocked upside my fucking head when I wasn’t looking. Loved spewed forth. It was pure. I would have changed everything for you. I get you love ur kid and wife but then why? Why was I interesting enough to watch while putting tint on my windows? Why did you seek me out? Your soul knew you loved me. Why did you watch me from afar. You wanted me. I am everything you’ve never had and you knew it. This is why you wouldn’t engage with me. This is why you kept me at arms length. You once told me I was the smartest woman. Well, no I’m not. Smart women don’t make life changing mistakes. I left for you. For your families sake. For every one. Make no mistake. I currently bear you a hell of a lot of Ill will but I bear myself more. I mourn the loss of the happiness we could have had if I was only worth it. I mourn losing the person who quickly became a best friend when we shouldn’t have been. Still i see signs of you. Still i feel you. I hate it. Again,you found me. Your soul already knew what you were going to step into. For someone who is so spirituality in tune with his body you sure are dumb in the love department. You’ve been unhappy with ur wife for years and just because you had a kid, you’re now martyring yourself. Its how your breed rolls. That and you’ll never be over the first S. Cool. I get that too. I have that one person as well. Difference is, I gave you nothing but goodness and what I got was nothing but pain, manipulation, hate, insert a hundred other things here,…….all that and we never even kissed. Yah. That’s right. I loved you so much I couldn’t do it to you, her and the kid. Sorry I’m a decent human. Thanks for having a hand in fucking my life up. I know you were worried about me opening my mouth. I never will. You aren’t even worth the words anymore. You’re nothing good. Nothing just. You’re nothing.