Every time I see you through the windows, I want to either punch or scream fuck you to your face. If I could get away with it without any consequence – I’d probably do both.
Why? Because your dream and vision shattered mine. For someone who’s so “feminist”, you’re also very selfish. Your lack of experience, proper management and basic business acumen resulted in unnecessary delays of YOUR SHIT, unrealistic goals that you pushed despite the delays (cause you HAVE to have what you want right?) and caused you to tell lies to still keep getting what you wanted from everyone around you (let’s face it, if you didn’t have a plan to actually follow through on the promises you made for what you already received from my spouse TO HELP YOU EVEN GET TO WHERE YOU ARE NOW, you basically lied).
Those lies we believed (luckily for you, you’re only about 98% to blame – we’ll take the other 2%) and we made moves to accommodate YOUR GOALS thinking you’d follow through and give us what we needed to make good on our goals. I was wrong to think you were smart just because of the position you were in. Even if you did have intentions on following through….the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And that’s where I’ve been for a while: hell.
You see J, your delays caused us to go through our savings. The only savings we had and that took damn near 10 years to build, at very great sacrifices and fights. Savings that was supposed to go to our surrogate…yeah, I’m infertile and MY dream and vision for this point in my life was to start a family since the company I worked for all that time closed down.
YOU TOOK THAT AWAY. Not only that, you made it even harder by delaying my spouse’s employment so that we could continue to pay our bills. Your promises kept us from looking out for ourselves first and foremost, and quite honestly we should’ve stopped fucking with you and we paid the price. Quite literally. Our 2% contribution to this whole fuckery.
Sure we can adopt later, but the money is gone, our credit has tanked and it’s going to take a year or two to get back. A year or two older means I’m damn near 40 and so the adoption process will probably be easier than any treatments, egg freezing and several tries – which we don’t have the money for now anyway. So a big fucking thanks. But you got what you wanted though right? Seems to be all that matters.
But you know what, even though nothing would make my nipples tingle more with great joy than to give you a snarling FUCK YOU with a tinge of spit to your face, I’m better than that. AND I FORGIVE YOU. I have to so I can keep going, make new goals and plans. It’s been hard as shit to do that these last few weeks.
This was probably the situation I personally needed to toughen the fuck up. I’ve always tried to see the best in people, be positive and believe. Fuck all that. No one will EVER FUCK UP MY FINANCES AND LIFE GOALS AGAIN. No matter the circumstance, the lies (because now, everything is a lie until it actually happens in my eyes), the perceived “opportunity”, none of it will ever make me gamble like that again. So thank you for helping me realize that. You have successfully broken my trust towards anyone except those closest to me. And I have been through some pretty fucked up shit before, this really took the cake.
My forgiveness doesn’t excuse what you’ve done, and no, I’ll never come and celebrate your “success” with you, I’ll never take part. Why? Because you’re not a real entrepreneur. You know nothing of the sacrifice, leadership and consideration real entrepreneurship requires. You ain’t a she-ro. You’re a liar, a manipulator, a passive aggressive, ungrateful woman who has pissed off every one in her path and is too stupid to realize it.
You will feel my pain one day and I won’t have to do a thing. So enjoy while it lasts!