I’m 15 now. The hope that was once in me, has vanished to leave a Sand grain behind. You’re okay however. You’re faking a smile but you’re refusing to take my offer to become a listener. I know you’re not entirely okay but I’m hurt; I’m hurt because of your bullshit, I’m hurt because of the hesitation in my voice when I speak to you, because of my selfless taking over me to make you happy. I’m hurt because you hurt me and pretended you didn’t. It was like pretending the moon doesn’t exist because night is dark.
You’re shattering my existence. I’m fading into a land of invisibility. I almost feel like I’m just a broken radio; works every once in a while. I might be fading but I’m strong enough to not let go when I’m barely a shade of color. I became like a blank piece of paper, no colors, no lines, nothing. I don’t blame you. I blame this test you call life. I blame this hypocritical world full of hatred.
The darkness that surrounded me became an impossible darker shade of black. A shade never made before. Now music is my only companion. After being left by the mankind. Humans now have learned to turn against each other, rather than being united to make this world a better place. They don’t only kill each other physically, but they strip away the happiness and the atom of hope.
I became lost, lost in my thoughts. Almost like I have built a city from overthinking. It’s truly sickening, having to keep in too much because no one seems trustworthy enough. I promise you, you’ll get stronger every time. They might be throwing rocks at your weak points but the rocks will shatter when they hit you. See, this world isn’t about targeting you and making your life miserable. It’s about finding vulnerability and using it for their own benefit. They will make you fall in love and break your heart in most ways. They will tell you to dream but they’ll be the reason it’s long gone. They will tell you to stay strong… but they’re stripping away your strength.
It’s a hopeless world.