• This is goodbye…

    by  • March 19, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    Teej,
    Someone worth waiting for… or not?
    Is there more to love?

    You say the words often enough
    But they no longer weigh as heavy..
    There was a time when I believed them
    But these days, I’m just uncertain.

    You see, I feel abused & degraded
    When you let your hands wander down my body without my consent and despite my protests…
    And each time it happens,
    My trust in you is eroded
    And now, there’s nothing left but an empty heart.

    It’s like I’m just a means for you to indulge your lust…
    Just a dumb pretty face to you…
    And I feel very stupid for choosing to hold on.. to fight for our relationship…
    ‘Cause the apologies are only ever skin-deep
    Just to appease your conscience.

    It hurts ’cause ours was supposed to be a christian courtship
    Not a battle with lust.
    You shut me out so I can’t help
    And all I have is condemnation.

    It hurts that you don’t see how badly this affects me…
    It’s always all about you!
    You say “Sorry”, and that should be fine;
    I’m forced to deal with my resentment.

    But I’m not sure I can take anymore
    Of hating myself and wanting to die
    Maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion
    But I need to do things right by me.

    Something tells me I’ll regret this…
    A voice that says you’re the best I’ll ever get..
    Yet, I’m taking my chances…
    And I’m sorry….
    But I can’t keep up with this anymore.

    It’s not about the gifts and outings
    Nor about the time spent chatting
    I might not know the specifics of it
    But there must be more to love than this…
    Something that includes
    Respect… Value… Honour…

    I love you- you know I do;
    But, this is for the best.
    This is goodbye….

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