• To Myself: Get your shit together.

    by  • March 14, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Knock it Off • 0 Comments

    We always seem to talk. In fact, a lot of the times I’m the only one you ever talk to. So why the fuck am I not getting through to you? I know how you feel. I am how you feel. Everything that goes through that small brain of yours, goes through mine. So why can I fucking process what I’m telling you, when you can’t? Listen up, because I’m tired of this struggle. I’m tired of looking at you being this- whatever the fuck you are. Sure, everyone hates you right now. And they’re looking at you like you’re this huge ass disappointment, but news flash! You are.

    It doesn’t really matter how they see you anyway. Fuck them. You used to have a dream, don’t you remember? Are you so lost that you can’t even focus on your goals? What happened to being an artist and going places? Well fuck you. Because every time you fuck up, I get fucked too. Listen, okay? This is how I see you. You are lazy, and you’re a horrible person. You think you deserve so much when honestly you can go drink a bucket of cum for all anyone cares. You sleep all day and your life is a mess, you dropped out of college, you don’t even have a job. You’re pathetic, that’s what you are. And you think you’re nice to people, but honey, you aren’t. You aren’t kind, you aren’t generous. You’re selfish and you’re mean. You don’t deserve shit. I want to tell you so badly to go kill yourself. I want to see you jump off a fucking bridge, maybe take that bottle of pills up on the highest shelf of the spice rack, you know?

    But I don’t want you to die. Because somewhere deep down, really deep down, I still believe in you. You can pull yourself out of whatever funk you dug yourself into. You had a dream once, so follow it. Stop being- whatever this is. Stop it. You’re hurting us both. You’re hurting yourself so much. You once had a purpose to do things, so get the fuck out of bed and get on with your life. Because I love you. Even if everyone else in your life doesn’t, I do. I don’t want to hate you too. Don’t give up on us, we can be worth it. We can deserve something.

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