Three years Nicola. and not a single day has passed i didn’t wish i could change what was, didn’t think of you, didn’t imagine scenarios when i could tell you that no, i was not infatuated, i love you.
I loved you then, i love you now and i will love you all my life.
I don’t know if there is anything beyond this life, but i will say this, i will stop loving you when i cease to be aware of your existence.
When i stop and think of what could have been, not you and i together, i know i wasn’t what you wanted, but i could have gone a different path and still been in your life, then again, i think of when i see you, rare enough but in a strange way i am glad of that small mercy.
When i do see you it is like an old wound reopening, it hurts and bad.
I could write all kinds of emotive things and yet be left with more i need to say to explain how you are the one, but really it boils down to this.
In every way, absolutely every single way, you are perfect, you haven’t a single flaw.
And you ignite joy in me just with a smile, ecstatic happiness just hearing you laugh, contentment from just your voice.
If there were a way to be what you could fall in love with, i would. There is not though.
But i will never ever stop wishing and loving.
I hope you are happy and doing what you love, going where you wanted to. Heading down the path of your life with the joy you elicited in me.
Never ever feel you are not good enough, you are all you ever need to be, everything you are is everything anyone could need or want, you are now and always will be. And i love you for always