I loved you. So very much. I don’t know how or when this happened, but it did. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was driving me absolutely insane. I loved everything about you. Your honestly, the way you spoke to me and the way you made me feel. With each passing day, I fell deeper in love with you. When you told me that you weren’t interested and most likely would never be, it broke my heart. It absolutely shattered me. You were perfect for me in every possible way but you didn’t want me. I tried to accept that fact and be rational about it but I failed spectacularly. I had no idea what to do. Then I found out about your girlfriend. I thought that nothing about you would affect me more than you not loving me back but I was so wrong. I was jealous. I still am to be honest. You stopped talking to me and so I did too. Not because I wanted to but because the thought of becoming a nuisance to you made me sick to my stomach. I tried to keep busy and not be bothered by it but I was fooling myself. Truth be told I miss talking to you. I miss you so bloody much that sometimes it’s just unbearable. What I don’t understand is how I can miss something that I never had. I keep trying to be happy that you’ve found someone to love who probably loves you back. How I wish that was me. I still believe that I could’ve made you incredibly happy. If only you wanted me. I still want you. I think some part of me always will. You are the first guy I’ve ever loved. Truly. But it just wasn’t enough. I hope that someday I can look back at everything and not feel a twinge in my heart. I hope I find someone that I could love just as much as I loved you.
Lots of love