I want to reach out but I don’t know how. I want connection but I’m too preoccupied with the idea that seeking it from you could scare you away. It’s been dragging along for so long inside of me … how do I do this. How do I make it happen? It’s cool; be organic. An opportunity will present itself.
But it isn’t that easy, is it? Just once is all that I need. You and I, alone in a car or a house or a room with no distractions. “If she holds my hand here, something is there.” But I don’t know how to ask for it and I’m not going to invent a moment for the two of us that I am not so sure you want to share.
I love you. I want this. I want you so badly. Yet I can’t move any further. Because even though you reach for my hand nearly every time we achieve a little proximity, you don’t reach for me in any other ways. It’s okay if I’m wrong, but I won’t find out the hard way.