It’s really insane how things happen. I know exactly where I was a year ago, and today was the beginning of the last chapter. Thank god its all over. Thank god I’m in such a better place. Nothing has been by any stretch easier, but I’ve found myself since being away from what held me down.
I’ve been able to feel real things. Other types of pain. Other love. It’s all so fucking beautiful yet so fucking heartbreaking I don’t even know where to begin. Yet I have never felt so free.
Who knew that losing everything could mean gaining everything and more in return? The universe really does pay attention. It doesn’t forget. It doesn’t miss a beat. It sees what pain you carry and what you desire. And it gives to you as much as it pains you, for each is equally necessary for your own personal growth.
I have come so far. I have been told that. But I have only just recently started to see it. Last year this time I would’ve been laying alone, anxiously debating what I was going to say, what I was going to do next.
Now here I am away from that situation entirely, and I feel everything elsewhere. It’s within what I feel for my family. The free feeling I have been gifted. The love I feel for someone else. Everything, is proof to the point of how everything has been stripped from me, and I have been able to regain my sense of strength and comfort.
It’s beautiful. It’s all encompassing. All surrounding. It speaks the ocean’s language and taps into your skin the very beat of the rain. It cleanses you and reminds you that these storms will always exist, and they will always be there.
To be watched as you fall apart yet everything fall into place. It’s stunningly beautiful, it’s stunningly real and raw. It reminds you that everyone visits a place like this. But not everyone feels it so intensely, yet while feeling seemingly nothing at all.
Feeling is everything, yet not feeling while believing you could shows you just how strongly you truly are capable of feeling. Of loving.
I’ve kept my head up and kept my heart strong.