• It still hurts

    by  • February 20, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Grief • 0 Comments

    I know I cheated on you, and I know when I came to your house to tell you I didn’t clarify. and you thought I had actually sex it ruined the story of it all, I admit I cuddled and kissed a guy at his house and I almost did oral. I was dating a girl and I’m a girl myself I didn’t even know what I was doing so I didn’t do it full on. The story does no justice because it clearly mattered. It still hurts you. I’ve said I’m sorry a million times and let you call me names and give me crap. but it hurts what you did to…
    You ran off with a guy and let him go down on you, something personal since ya know… (GIRL SEX WAS THE FIRST SEX I EVER HAD AND MY EX GF). It would bother me so much i’d scream and cry still I had to stop and pull to the sides of the roads because it always just popped up. How you said you even liked it. made my stomach flip inside out like a dying flower I welted and let the thorns sting.
    In all honestly I don’t think I’ve ever truly came to terms that you cared about everything even what others thank the most it hit me like a wave and I felt the girl I knew slip and I knew.. I knew then that when you found out that it happened we curled up in my Kia kissing and crying you forgave me for what it felt like and then you said you had to go or else people would know. and you slipped out of my arms for the last time, when I fully felt the love you spoke about, I miss your kisses a lot.. I wonder why I wasn’t enough to come back to like I’m the one that got hurt.. I know how it looks but a lot of this is just BS. My family hated me for liking a girl, type of parents who just didn’t let you out, didn’t let you make mistakes, made you scared and fearful.. she kept me away from it for a while. its like she felt like home my run to escape. you are still my favorite place… till this day I think we could have made it.. I just want you know it hurts.. it hurts because I know it’s all my fault.

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