• Feelings

    by  • February 17, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Waxing Poetic • 4 Comments

    I want you to stay but i think its too late
    I want you to stay and just be here by my side
    I think in a perfect world that would be possible
    But we live in a totally different world and you know it’s not gonna work.

    I wanted you to realize that so i did my best to show you that I didn’t care
    I’ve always been ahead of you. Always thinking about what could happen next.
    I wanted you to forget me , to forget the feelings, the memories , the connection we both had.
    So i tried to ignore you, and made sure you would stop admiring me.

    But that’s the thing about love, you feel what he feels.
    You cry when he cries.
    You know when he’s sad, when he’s hurting.

    All he knows is the pain you caused him, he does not know the reason behind it.
    But you had to do it. So you did it.

    The first time we meet
    I didn’t notice you
    I was nervous
    In a room full of crowd, the first thing you would look for is something similar to you.
    One day, you wake up you’re in a different world
    So I did not notice you, because you look totally different from me
    But you noticed me
    Maybe because I’m different from you?
    I was shy, you were confident
    We really are a complete opposite of each other

    I never fall in love easy
    I don’t even like the word “fall in love”
    Who knows I would feel something deeper than that

    Maybe they will say “Why did not you fight for him?”
    Its easier to be said than done
    “I did not have enough self-esteem” that’s an easier answer
    But its not just that
    Its because I did not want you to change your life for me
    I imagine our conversations
    And nothing came up on my mind
    Because we have nothing in common
    Yet I don’t understand how you managed to made me feel all the emotions i thought I did not have.

    Its just infatuation
    I repeat that on my mind
    Again and again
    Maybe its his gorgeous eyes, his stupid smile or his lame joke
    At first you were annoying
    I told myself I don’t see myself being with someone like that for a long time
    And then one time I saw your other side
    For the first time, I saw how you get mad
    And I thought it was funny but I was also surprised
    Because outside of you’re bubbly side, you’re not embarrassed to show your ugly side
    You were real
    I was silent while all of them did not care
    That’s how I noticed you
    And that’s how I noticed you noticing me.
    That was the start

    …..

    4 Responses to Feelings

    1. D-
      February 17, 2017 at 11:30 am

      Fuck, what you wrote was so real for me.
      I think you are wrong about nothing in common.
      Maybe now that is true, but I have not really been me for so many years.
      K, is that you?

      D

    2. good luck
      February 18, 2017 at 12:38 am

      Thank you for sharing this. I’m enduring the other end.. it is very hard not understanding the why. It diminishes your own sense of value to feel unwelcome by someone you yourself so greatly value. The feelings you’ve shown here are enlightening and I have to say very poignant and reassuring for me. As for his changing his life for you though.. well I would simply tell her she is a beacon in a place I want to be. That’s not complicated, that’s just love. Any kind of love. I would tell her just stick around and see what kind it is, because what two people don’t have in common is also what they can provide.

    3. baby... my heart is so tired
      February 18, 2017 at 2:23 am

      Ahhhhhhhhh L f that is u… i fucking miss u so much and i cant take this silence between us much longer my heart fucing hurts!!!!! Wanna make love to u so bad!

      ….we must b able to fix the mess
      There is no other woman i want than u…
      i dont want another gorl to take my pain away,
      I wish it was u 🙁

      D

      X … Miss u so much L if u read this u know ots me!
      So gutted we didnt try and fix things on Valentines Day

    4. A thought
      February 19, 2017 at 7:15 am

      You cry because you’re sad, you hurt because it’s your pain. He may share some aspects of what you experience but your feelings are your own.

      Id feel pretty wretched to think someone I was synced up with was sad and crying just because I was, Cuz let’s face it Im a massive crybaby. Can you imagine that happening all the time?

    Leave a Reply