• What’s the point anymore…

    by  • February 13, 2017 • Marriage • 2 Comments

    I was 15. I was 15 when I met you and I was mesmerized. I obviously was going through a tough time with a shit home life, and you were 18 and handsome and charming and everyone warned me. You’re crazy. I thought it was the cute kind of crazy that I could handle. Then we fell in love. It was in a matter of weeks, but we were head over heels and I couldn’t believe I could actually love after the abuse I went through as a child but there it was. Then my friend told me that you had clinical lycanthropy. You actually believe you are a werewolf. I thought maybe you were just joking but then I soon found out you were serious. You are serious. I don’t know why I stayed to be honest. That was 5 years ago and now we have a toddler and I’m pregnant again. We’re married. I thought if I could just wait till you were older you’d grow up and grow out of all your issues but you’re not. You scream and you yell and you make me feel so worthless and stupid. Maybe it’s because you flat out call me stupid. Maybe it’s because you constantly put me down. we had guest the other day, and someone asked if they could smoke in the house. You said yes. When they asked me if I was okay with it, you quickly cut in- “it’s not her say, she’ll do what I say and be okay with what I say.”
    The way they looked at me killed me. Like I was helpless. I was never supposed to be this girl. The one who lets her husband treat her like Shit. I was always the strong outgoing and confident type. I would put someone in their place. I knew what I deserved.
    You make me doubt all that. You make me doubt myself. You make me wonder if maybe I am stupid, because I married you. The brief breakup we had should’ve clued me in when you threatened me. I should’ve stayed gone. I love you, but god dammit, i fucking hate you and your personality and the way you treat me but treat everyone else so perfectly. One day, I’ll get the balls to leave. Then you’ll see that you lost the woman that every guy around here tries to steal from you. You condemn me to the house because “too many guys hit on me”. Maybe I wouldn’t seem available if you’d just stop and make me happy. Fuck you, dear husband.

    Btw, happy anniversary. Thanks for ignoring the day.

    2 Responses to What’s the point anymore…

    1. Grace
      February 13, 2017 at 1:20 pm

      Oh dear , seriously why go with second kid in this situation ? U know u are better off without some people in life that having them around . You might love them but if you don’t get back the affection then why choose to stay? If I were in your situation I would try to grow myself and focus on making myself independent than depend on someone like that. Life long u wanna stay like this? You definitely deserve better.

    2. WTF?
      February 15, 2017 at 2:07 am

      You have ONE life on this planet.. You want to know my biggest regret? Staying in my marriage while he got my young years, my best years – he took them all and didn’t appreciate a single day of my life that I gave him. I will NEVER get that time back. I’m now paddling like mad to make up for lost time – trying to get a career off the ground in my 40s – that sucks. I wish I had of left him when I was young enough to meet a man who would appreciate me. How CAN this dickwad make YOU feel stupid? He thinks he’s a fricken werewolf,lol…. If anybody should feel stupid – it should be him, living in a fantasy world. The best times I’ve had were after my marriage ended and it was just me and the kids. I am so thankful I got to create a household full of love and laughter for them that they can look back on instead of the years of yelling, dark moods, silent treatments, and shit he dished out. Don’t put your kids through it and don’t put yourself through it. Create the type of family you want for yourself with your little ones and leave the damn werewolf to go howl at the moon. Good luck.

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