• 1111. I see your name in odd places

    by  • February 13, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 11 Comments

    I don’t understand you at all. You’re so kind and caring, how are you so? Forgive my paranoia. Assume it is earned.
    I can understand many things. I understand your general love of most people, because I also love most people. But why do you invest in them? Do you invest in most people? I fear you getting hurt for doing that. I cannot understand why you were attached to me as such. It seems unfounded and infinitely strange.
    I already know that I could fall in love with you. I don’t want to, but you possess qualities that I admire and respect. No. That’s not quite right. You possess the qualities that captivate and hypnotize me. You are beautiful, but your beauty doesn’t end in your appearance. It’s in how you move and how you think and your ability to charm people. It’s in your eyes and your voice. You host a certain kind of warmth that mesmerizes me. You are the kind of person I could care for so immensely that it could tear me apart.
    Do you know that? And why do you care about me (I can believe you care about me. You’ve offered enough evidence to support that conjecture)? Is it because I give you trinkets? Because I try to capture your essence on paper? Troublesome. You shouldn’t, if this is the case. If people care about one another, it’s because they both actively participate in a symbiotic relationship, correct? With both parties benefitting? You don’t benefit. Do not give me things that I cannot repay. Stop being so kind; I couldn’t bear to hurt you somehow.
    Sometimes I wonder about who you are. You are a stranger to me, despite whatever you may or may not know. I know nothing about you. So I wonder; 3:00 AM questions swimming in my head, what are you scared of? What do you dream of? When is the last time you sang and danced to yourself? A multitude–or at least somewhere between 32 and 611—questions that I’ll never ask. It’s a shame I’ll never know you well. It’s rare that I like someone, and even more rare that I am drawn to someone so undeniably and immediately.
    I said you are a stranger. You are. But I know things about you. Perhaps I am observant. Perhaps I simply look for the right things. Either way, I know OF you, and I know things ABOUT you. Like how you sometimes bite your finger when you’re focusing, or how you have this innate need for justice and equality. I know that you’re inherent, eminently private, and that you’re fastidious when it comes to letting people know things about yourself.
    I’ve been seeing sequences of numbers around, oddly enough. Specific groupings of four 1s in a row. Repeatedly. It’s strange how they appear and what they mean. I’ve seen your name in places unlikely places. It all seems like a series of coincidences that are deliberate. Unfortunate. Stupid. This is where I’m stupid. Because I’m hellbent on ignoring these things the way one might ignore clouds in the sky. Unfortunately, these clouds hail from tornado winds, glow, and have a habit of dropping dead animals on the streets they hover over, sentient and powerful.
    So if you don’t see me, it’s because I’m a coward afraid of people (you). Yet I am a parasite who willingly allows dependency to be my downfall, like some kind of frost-bitten snake curling and binding around limbs. You hold my dog-teeth because you offered, and I let you because it makes me feel less alone but all the more pathetic. If I could take back my trust in you and apologize for any inconvenience, I would be on my way. Pliers and knives are my burden; go live your life.

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    11 Responses to 1111. I see your name in odd places

    1. KL
      February 13, 2017 at 10:58 am

      Ok his name does has ll ll ahh so that’s the 1111 u might be refering to i n l’s in ones name is it?




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      • Jeer
        February 14, 2017 at 9:42 pm

        The writer here. Yes, something like that but they’re not a boy. I’m rather shocked you guessed that..




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        • KL
          February 15, 2017 at 3:46 pm

          Yes I was talking about my person being male n me being female .. after reading it i too am seeing 1s n series of 11 .. yeah my name has em too .. I love puzzles




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          • FS
            March 8, 2017 at 8:05 am

            KL or LK? Or LLK? Uh huh. JS does have them too. He is NOT your person and never was. Let it go before I do something rash. I still have all the evidence.




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            • @FS
              March 10, 2017 at 4:36 pm

              I don’t understand this at all. Chances of anyone being anyone’s person here are minor. And if he or she ain’t with you it’s coz they don’t wanna be. That’s usually the reason sadly




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    2. D-
      February 13, 2017 at 12:07 pm

      K-
      Lets start slow.
      How about we start with, “lets not be strangers.”
      D-




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    3. @author
      February 14, 2017 at 4:14 am

      No. Both people don’t have to benefit in order for one to truly and deeply love the other. I’m just blessed I do benefit.

      It is I who feels it.




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    4. Just a girl
      February 25, 2017 at 9:14 pm

      Have you recently met this person? Or is this someone you have known? I find it odd that this person is a stranger to you that you only know of, but the things you know about them suggest you’ve spent an abundance of time with them…




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      • Jeer
        March 1, 2017 at 5:50 am

        I met them several months ago, but I don’t spend time with or around them. I am merely good at seeing and interpreting what I see during my rare times with them.




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        • Just a girl
          March 3, 2017 at 3:22 pm

          Your writing sure seems as if you know this person more intimately (not necessarily in the physical way) than your comments. And that they know you in such a way as well. *shrug* Just wishing you were my person, I guess. Your letter makes me feel calm and peaceful in whichever way things go. Just as it should be. Anyway, carry on fine soul! You’re doing great!




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    5. DS
      September 8, 2017 at 9:28 am

      @jeer,

      R u still around? How is it going with your person?




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