• I thought of you…. Again

    by  • February 12, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 10 Comments

    I thought of you again last night

    As usual it made me cry

    I can’t not think of you, but I can’t think of you without crying

    I regret so much. I love you. I hate that I lost you 3 years ago. I hate that I didn’t see what everyone else saw… The fact that you loved me

    Why couldn’t I see that?

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    10 Responses to I thought of you…. Again

    1. time changes thoughts
      February 12, 2017 at 8:47 pm

      You certainly had your reasons. We tend to forget about them as time goes by. Everyone has a different perspective. Just because others saw something different doesn’t mean they were right and you were wrong.




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      • Author
        February 13, 2017 at 12:53 pm

        They were right though… He admitted it was true… He just admitted it way too late.




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        • time changes thoughts
          February 15, 2017 at 10:15 pm

          Well, these things happen when we feel that we need to protect ourselves. If the one I loved so much, would tell me that it was true, that he loved me too, I wouldn’t believe it either.




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    2. Who was too late I ask you?
      February 15, 2017 at 7:23 am

      How could their love be ignored? Missed when they obviously gave their all. Too late sounds like you made him unsure about how you felt about him & him you?




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      • Author
        February 15, 2017 at 2:13 pm

        I loved him, and he knew it, just he was scared of “fucking me up” (his words) so he asked me not to love him. Then a year and a bit later, he decided he did love me and that he could admit it, without fear of messing me up, but it was too late because even though I still loved him, I moved on because of the pain he caused me through what I saw as rejection.
        I believed his love was the type of love I tried to force myself to feel, the love between two friends, possibly between two best friends, but not the love between lovers… Which of course I felt for him, and I later found out that he had felt for me for years.
        Between the times of me admitting I loved him and him admitting love for me, I refused to believe anyone who said they saw his love, because everything he did was stuff we both did from practically the day we met, 6 years before, so it was nothing new or special when it came to us… At least that’s what I thought.
        I honestly think we were soulmates, not the one, but a one… A one it could have been perfect with, if we hadn’t have been too young, and too immature, and too damaged.
        A beautiful, broken, what if….




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    3. Three Years!!!
      February 16, 2017 at 12:02 am

      That’s too long to be crying about somebody. He was a human being – as fallible as the next guy. Don’t put him on a pedestal. Those feelings are coming from inside you – in the absence of him – they are generated by YOU, so he isn’t making you feel this way. The way you think of him is doing that. Change your thought about him. He farts, shits and makes mistakes. He ain’t as great as you remember. You are wasting time – he is living rent free in your head and by now has probably boned 100 chicks.




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      • Author
        February 17, 2017 at 12:54 pm

        I don’t care if he’s boned 100 chicks. It’s more than that. I love him with everything, I don’t just lust after him. He was my everything, my best friend. He was honestly the nicest person I knew, and I had to become a monster so I wouldn’t hurt him, but now I regret everything.
        With us, we never dated. We never even crushed. We were best friends for years, and the love was just there. We all fart, and shit, and make mistakes, but it’s about finding someone you’re comfortable farting with, and someone who you’re comfortable to have a shit in their house, and someone to make mistakes and live your life with.
        He fucked up so many times, but so did I. I’m not perfect. But we were perfect to each other.




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        • ????
          February 21, 2017 at 4:29 am

          You are hanging onto a ghost. If you were perfect for each other – you would be together. You need to stop seeing this guy as some be all and end all. He’s moved on – he has loved others far more than he ever loved you. Otherwise he would be with you.. Your love is being manufactured by yourself. If he has boned 100 chicks -why wouldn’t you care? Wouldn’t that show a moral failing that is hard to overlook? You are in a dreamland. The reality is his fuck ups – that shows the real him.




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          • Author
            February 22, 2017 at 1:50 pm

            He didn’t fuck up though, I did. We would have been together if I had opened my eyes instead of boning his best friend for 2 years.




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      • haha
        February 17, 2017 at 5:57 pm

        Refreshing:D
        Unfortunately, sometimes it’s easier to burn the house than get them out.




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