• I thought of you today

    by  • February 8, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 3 Comments

    I was sitting at work today, scrolling though facebook and I saw a post. It was about hearing a song and remember all the good times with that song. I didn’t even have to try. I closed my eyes and saw you and JD. You two were sitting in your moms trailer listening to music on the computer. When I showed up JD put on Bubble Toes by Jack Johnson, and the three of us sat there laughing because I had never heard of him or the song. Those were the good days. The days when I didn’t have to look to the sky to talk to you. The days when I could call you up and talk to you about anything. I miss you Daniel. Your son, he looks just like you. I still don’t care for his mother because of the things she said to you. The things that made you feel like ending your life was the best thing to do. I wish you were still here.
    You remember that time the three of us camped out in JD’s truck. It was so cramped in that truck bed. But it was pretty warm. I remember waking up before either of you guys, and I had to pee so bad. When I went to move I woke JD up on accident. You slept right through me fumbling my way out of my sleeping bag and almost falling out of the bed of the truck. Hell you could sleep through a tornado. Lol.
    Oh, how about that time I came down with my daughter and picked you up to hang out because I had moved away. That was a good night. So many laughs shared between old friends. We grew up together D. I know I broke your heart when we were kids. Your mom hated me after that. Never stopped us from being friends though. We could talk about anything, any time. You would be proud of me D. Im in college now. Im doing really well, so my teacher tells me. I failed the first exam by a few points. I was so disappointed in myself. The program is only 7 months, so it is a really fast program.
    You left this earth last year and I still catch myself wanting to call you and tell you all about it. I wanted to call you last weekend when I got the call from my step mom saying my little sister tried to kill herself…She is only 13. I don’t understand it. But then again I am 27 now and never thought about killing myself. I still don’t understand why you chose to end your life. I wish I could ask you. I wish I could go back and talk you out of it. I wish I would have known you were feeling that bad. I wish I didn’t live 3000 miles from you in your time of need. I wish your mom didn’t hurt so bad. Shes always sad now. Everyone is. I miss you Daniel. I’m glad I got to see your face today when I closed my eyes and listened to Bubble Toes. Im glad I got to take that trip down memory lane with you today.

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    3 Responses to I thought of you today

    1. Nikita
      February 8, 2017 at 8:27 pm

      Hey. I’ve never lost a friend. So I don’t know what that feels like. But I hope that Daniel’s mom tides over the pain and anguish soon. Take care, friend.




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      • Krysten
        March 17, 2017 at 6:38 pm

        I hope you never have to go through this pain. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. He was my best friend. His mom posts about him every day. It breaks my heart every time I see his name. Last week my phone dialed his number, and when I caught it…I cried for an hour. Knowing Ill never hear his voice again. Knowing his son will never know his voice or love.




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    2. he is loved
      February 9, 2017 at 4:20 pm

      Oh my god, this hurts.




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