• To J

    by  • February 7, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 6 Comments

    Our last three weeks of seeing each other it got weird, you got weird, you got nasty, crossed lines if you didn’t get your own way, lines that were just blurry enough for me to excuse it. Lines when I was already in enough of a bad state in my own self that I could so easily blame me, and I did. 🙁

    Now we get closer to Valentines, the anniversary of the last day I saw you, my memory of events that led to this are clearer than before.

    So I made a romantic gesture, it wasn’t that romantic, just brunch or lunch or whatever on Valentine’s Day, it was my sweet gesture. It didn’t mean a lot but I meant it to be nice.

    A few days later you end things because I ‘put pressure on you.’ No conflict resolution, just that. Dumped. Dropped like the same hot potatoe I have been all you other years you dropped me.

    Except this time, I’m blamed?

    And then when I call a few weeks later for some clarity, enough to at least offer some attempt to problem solve and I am screamed at and blamed some more. Your words making out in the bad guy and you’re the victim? What is that?

    And still you say you had feelings for me and wanted a relationship all these years.

    It’s all lies. It’s not and was hardly ever truly shown in your actions.

    Put yourself in my position. What would have been so wrong with showing compassion towards me when you chose to end things? You knew how I felt about you.

    You never ended it with compassion and truth, I asked you over and over again to just be honest and tell me it wasn’t that big a deal to you! You’re such a liar.

    You blame me for things said in messages I have sent since, you’re the victim at every corner I know, but it take two to tango and I was reacting to more than I could take of your nastiness.


    6 Responses to To J

    1. Eno
      February 8, 2017 at 10:57 pm

      This sound eerily familiar to something I once told someone. Funny how she never once saw it from any other pov than hers. Weird how that works, huh L.

    2. SKT
      February 9, 2017 at 2:25 pm

      I doubt this applies to you, of course. But often times the nastiness goes both ways. You started and continued on no matter what i said. So I returned the favor. We’re both to blame but unlike you, I admit when I was wrong. I apologized for things i didnt even do, just to stop the fighting. I still love you and miss you. Still want to hear your voice, read your texts. Im not afraid of trying to start fresh, with a clean slate. You are. Enjoy your V day though. Ill be spending yet another alone, without you.

      • KC
        February 11, 2017 at 6:07 pm

        You can’t be the person this letter was addressed to. He doesn’t want me anymore. I know that.

        • SKT
          February 12, 2017 at 1:39 pm

          I’m sorry for that. I really am. My post wasnt directed to you per say. It just felt like I was reading some thing of hers so I posted as if you were her.

          Youd be surprised though sometimes. Despite being nasty towards each other, I still care and would love a real clean slate. Something she is incapable of giving but I’d still try again and again. Always hoping.

          • @SKT
            February 13, 2017 at 7:02 pm

            Have you said that to her?

            • SKT
              February 14, 2017 at 6:03 pm

              On multiple ocassions. She wouldnt answer the phone even if i did text. Last time I talked to her she promised that she would never message me again. Funny how its the only promise she’s (so far) kept, and its the only one i wish she would break.

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