I don’t know if any of you ever experienced that cold feeling down your spine that everything you thought you knew was actually nothing. That feeling when it’s like you woken up from a dream, that you thought everyone was with you until you actually do something they never expected.
For me, t was devastating. I wanted to get into a better school. Have a better life, it doesn’t hurt to dream that was what they first said. When I made an action to fulfill my dreams that’s when I experienced heartbreaking oblivion.
All I ever wanted to was not get underestimated, I want my parents to be proud. I want them to be proud, but why won’t they trust me?
I never did drugs, never cam home pass my curfew, never had a boyfriend, never disobeyed the rules, never did something that would cause shame to our whole family so why won’t they trust me?
Financially, I know we lack a lot in that department but I would be willing to go out of my comfort zone and sacrifice a lot of things for my future.
But they won’t let me.
They say I’m too young and the time isn’t right.
But, the question is ‘when is the right time?’.
I agreed to enter a school I know I would learn a lot but learning wasn’t everything. I loved my family enough to push myself to do things but I couldn’t bring myself to excel and be happy.
Because the girl that’s doing something to please everyone else wasn’t me anymore.
I was becoming a person that was dependent on other people’s opinions. I know God has a greater plan, he always did and I believe in that. So I took the test, without a review but I had Him. I was an average student and I know failing that test would break my heart because it means I failed to make them proud.
When I passed, it was a surreal moment I wanted to be engraved in my head because it meant ‘change’ and ‘oppurtunities’.
I want my siblings to grow up without never worrying what people would think of the life they chose as long as it makes them happy and it’s GOD’S DREAM.
Someone once said, that if the dream is something you can do it’s never gonna make you happy.
But if the dream is something bigger than you, then it would make you happy beyond anything you ever imagined because you learned to have faith.
I believe that I have God’s dream, it’s something I can never do without him and he people that he touched to help me. My dream is something that would expand our country’s influence all over the world. Some dream for themselves, but I dream for my country and I want to do something that would be my legacy in this world.
Currently, I’m praying that something happens. That I’ll follow the path that our righteous God has laid out for me.
To everyone who has been living a lavish life.
Don’t waste your money on useless things, love others.
To teenagers who are privileged enough to study in world class schools.
Do your best, because others are fighting to stay alive so make this world a better place for our future.
To teens like me who are struggling to make an impact.
Let’s never stop fighting, let’s prove them wrong.