• New at this

    by  • January 26, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Advice • 3 Comments

    Letter thing. I guess I write about what’s on my mind and then strangers without problems can give me advice? Here goes it then.

    I’m a guy so I am bad at trying to say what I feel, but I’m needing advice. I have nothing to lose. Just realised I have lost the one person I truly love.
    So it’s been awhile since the break up. Its been tough. The woman I speak of has no idea how I feel about her. She’s the one that left me. She left for reasons that make sense, but I have found myself hanging on to her returning. I am guilty of pleasure thoughts of her. I had fallen into a habit of hoping of her coming back to me and fantasy thoughts of sort. I do have women who show interest in me. I haven’t been with another since my breakup.
    Here’s where I need advice kind strangers. Do you think being with another woman would help me move on like the ex wants me to? What if I am honest with whom I would be with that they are a rebound of sorts? Who knows maybe it could turn into a positive relationship? All I know is I realize I can’t keep hoping for someone to return when they keep making it clear their heart belong to someone else. If the ex ever wanted to come back she could. I would welcome her back even if she wanted to just be friends. I hope I don’t sound heartless, but at this point it doesn’t matter.
    Please only people who really want to help respond to this. I really am sincerely in a bind and need advice. I’m not getting any younger and I love living life. I just need help getting started at it.

    Thanks,
    Doug

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    3 Responses to New at this

    1. Renaissance Woman
      January 26, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      I think if you are single and want to date or have sexual relations with other women, then you absolutely should. I also think that some honesty on your part about what you are/are not looking for, would be your best bet. There are lots of nice single women out there who are just looking for some good old fashioned fun. A fling, or even a ‘friend with benefits’ kind of a situation. So those are the people you should be seeking for the time being, and until you are really ready to involve yourself in a commitment again. I also think the flirting and such would be great for helping you to regain some confidence and start feeling a bit more hopeful. I am sorry your heart is broken. Truly. But don’t stop living your life and enjoying yourself because someone has hurt you. You deserve to be happy, and you’ll never be happy if you continue to wait around for something that may never happen. Best of luck to you.. Female, 46.




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    2. Renaissance Woman
      January 26, 2017 at 9:37 pm

      Oh! And one more thing. Be sure to protect yourself. I know, I know… We’re all adults here. But sometimes people in the ‘middle age’ bracket are not as careful as they ought to be. 😉




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    3. It's not easy. I know.
      January 27, 2017 at 2:12 am

      You are great at expressing yourself. I am a woman and feel exactly like you. Can’t move on from an ex. I’ve had interest but I also feel it is unfair to let a man involve himself with me when I already know I’m not attracted to him or feel for him anywhere near how my ex made me feel. I am also not young and want to live but I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t just want to sleep with people. After what I experienced it would feel shallow anyway. I have a friend who is convinced I need another man to help me move on. How is this fair to the man? I wouldn’t welcome my ex back though. He turned into a maniac driven by a coke addiction I had no idea was so bad until he went violently psycho one night. I never went back. I can’t. I have children and violence is a deal breaker. There are no second chances for that.

      I have since joined an interest group and am planning on joining a few more. I moved to a brand new city with no family or friends here to be with this man – only to break up. I have had to start from scratch here and that’s been horrifically hard on me and my daughter. I’ve fallen on my feet in my career but my heart is shredded. I’m finally making friends but not close yet. Maybe you should try a few dates with a view to just making friends? At least getting out there. Me, I’m not interested just yet. My work is insanely busy so I guess I’m using that to fulfill myself. Try a few dates or meet ups or something similar. Don’t place pressure on yourself and I guess, always be honest with where you stand with them so they can make informed choices. You can’t do more than that. Maybe you’ll find someone who is a much better fit and who can love you better. Good luck, Man.




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