• To My Spiritual “Other Half”

    by  • January 24, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 1 Comment

    I don’t even know how to start this, so I’m just going to say everything as it comes, cause that’s who I am. When you told me about your female friends falling in love with you, you were talking about me. Maybe you knew or maybe God was just speaking through you to me but it’s the truth. The day we met I was in love, but you were taken so I walked away and assumed it was a quick crush and I would move on. I did, that was till you reached out again. It threw me for a curveball. Maybe you’re use to being on the same spiritual wavelength with people but for me, you are the first. I’ve been praying every day that I could move past the desire to date you and just be friends and that has always been the challenge with me. See, I fall for the best friend the guy I can say whatever to, who I can encourage and invest in. Let me be clear, I know you don’t feel the same, you have not done anything to tell me you feel the same, in actuality you’ve done quite the opposite to show me that these feelings are indeed one sided. I know logically men pursue the woman they want and you have not, at least not with me. The problem is what I was trying to tell you before, it’s a wild imagination that I have to constantly rebuke and claim reality, it’s the dreams and nightmares at night that try to wreck me that I have to lay them down before God again. Getting to know you, seeing the man of God you are called to be is one of my greatest pleasures. Chase after His heart even more because He has great plans for you, you can take that to the bank. I need time away, facebook makes that so difficult but I know from past experiences that space isn’t a death to friendships, real friends make it work. If I’m distant, it’s not you, it’s truly me. There are so many things I haven’t shared with you but I’m a total wreck and my life is a mess so I need to let you go in my own mind and focus on God, putting my life back in order. I have a lot of hard decisions ahead of me as I prepare to walk into my 28th year of life. I have to be secure in who God has called me to be. Maybe then I can move past the “boyfriend” need and just be friends and secure in that. I’ve never had a real boyfriend. I know that should be a blessing but often it’s a curse cause it comes with its own baggage. I’ve been hurt so many times now and so much of it was my own doing. At least this time I dove right into God and though there’s still pain I can call it out for what it is and not blame anyone but myself. I hope you know that the woman who one day does capture your heart is going to be a fierce, loving, majestic, God fearing woman cause you don’t deserve anything less than that. I wish I could tell you every day how amazing of a man you are, that you are broken, open and honest and that makes you all the more in a position for God to use you. Don’t give up your Clark Kent self, Superman is great but Clark was ever greater. Don’t let the world or the enemy distract you, keep pursuing your dreams, use your gifts to honor God and He’ll manifest even more than you can comprehend. As I said before, I hope I can see it all unfold. You’re an inspiration for me to pursue God even more because if He’s doing all this in your life, I can’t imagine the plans He has for me.
    Play on you musical genius, Carnegie Hall and the world are waiting for you.

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    One Response to To My Spiritual “Other Half”

    1. that gurl
      January 24, 2017 at 6:19 pm




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