• My reasons why

    by  • January 20, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    I have my reasons and that’s what she wanted. She made it very clear. I’ll just start with that.

    Am I fine with it? “No.” But I’m an outsider and that’s the way it always will be. I honest to God, give up. I mean really, you’ve never even been to my house. I feel like you get close to me to find out info on her and then she thinks I’m a spy or something, but I’m not. I could care less and I’m very careful with info I know, although I will offer an opinion. I don’t want to be in the middle of anything.

    And then, you both think I don’t know the truth, when I have for some time, and then have to act like I don’t, because I’m flipping trying to figure out who knows what. When really everyone knows everything, but life is one big lying secret that makes no sense. Who wants that? I sure don’t want to have to deal with it. I’m not going to be a part of it anymore.

    I’ve proven to all involved who I am, but I’m not going to continue to do this. I’m letting her go first because, frankly, we never were really even friends. I tried, but it wasn’t meant to be, and I’m okay with that.

    You are different. But I place you on this pedestal that I’m not even sure you want to be on. It’s ok to get off. I’d rather you leave than pretend. My heart would break, but it wouldn’t be the first time. You have been amazing lately, and I appreciate it so much, but if your heart is not in it, or it’s for ulterior reasons, I want you to move on.

    On the other hand, if your love and support has been genuine, as I feel it has, then thank you. I know I’ve been needy, somewhat, and your patience has been noted. I’m trying, I really am, but the struggle is real. It’s excruciating at times, but you’ve made it feel less so, and I mean that.

    So if I’ve earned a spot in your life, then I plan to stay there, but if it’s temporary, then I don’t want it. That’s all I’m saying.

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